December: A Time For Reflection and Contentment.

December is my favourite month of the year. This will be no surprise for those that know me; I’m a Celeb is on TV each night, Christmas for me is the most wonderful time of the year and we have time for reflection and contentment.

For those that struggle this time of the year, check out my post here on how to survive the festive period.

Why Is It A Time To Reflect?

December marks the end of the year. The 12th Chapter in the 2019 story of your life. Some tend to find December is so full of content, you can sit back and reflect on the year that has just passed.

This year has been a crazy one for me. So much has happened. Here is what has changed in my life;

  • Friendships. As usual, friends have come and gone in my life. One was a close one too- this hurt so much to begin with but now I realise that it happened for a reason. The friendship had ran its course, and I wouldn’t have time for it in my life now. Some friends I see and speak to less, as life has gotten hectic for us but the love and admiration for them is still there. And I have welcomed some incredible new friendships into my life. Those that have been there for me this year, I have to thank. They have made this year joyous and given me some amazing memories. I now see the importance of just letting people go.
  • Family. Unfortunately at the start of this year, I lost my Uncle. I still miss him so much. I still wish I had gotten to say goodbye. But this year I gained a new nephew and he is so adorable. I have also been given the chance to spend some quality time with my other nephew, whom I love as if he was mine.
  • Work. I started off the year feeling lost in terms of work and what I was meant to be doing with my life. I was finishing off a course and I just felt a massive amount of anxiety when it came to work. Now, I am embarking on my self-employment journey. It’s tougher than I ever imagined, but I don’t feel lost anymore. I feel excited.
  • My Attitude. I have always been a bit of a mug, to put it bluntly. Whereas now, I am trying to develop a stronger attitude to things. To not be a doormat anymore.
  • Mental Health and Anxiety. I started the year off still seeing a counsellor weekly. That finished in February and since then I have strived to keep learning about mental health and anxiety. I have kept pushing myself. Now I can look back and see the important journey that I went on. I feel so much better. I still have the odd bad day, but on the whole I feel like I am finally kicking anxiety’s butt.
  • Health. I still could do with losing some weight but I have been making sure that I take care of my health as best as possible.
  • Priorities. I can gladly now say, that I have changed my priorities in life. I now no longer put people first when they would never do the same for me. I am fully focused on my family and my work. On the good friends that have stuck by me through it all. It’s refreshing to know my priorities are in the right order now.

Accepting The Future’s Fate.

When it comes to looking forward, I know that it will continue to change. I like to think that this year I have finally accepted this notion. That change happens all around us, all of the time.

Instead of fearing change in the future, I am going to try and embrace it. I see now that it is inevitable, I can’t resist it from happening anymore. I have always been a firm believer that everything happens a reason, so it’s best to just go with the flow. This is why it’s important to accept the fate of the future. To let things be. So looking into the future, into 2020, I know things will change again. But this time, instead of resisting, I am going to have faith that it’s all for the right reasons. It helps me to keep travelling down my life’s journey.

Being Content and Mindful

A huge achievement in life is to feel contentment. Mindfulness can be the tool to help you achieve this. Mindfulness makes you focus on the here and the now. You direct your thoughts into the present moment, rather than dwelling on the past, or fretting about the future.

Since I started reading up on mindfulness, I realised how powerful the mind is and why our thought processes work the way that they do. That is why I highly suggest giving mindfulness a go to anyone that is wanting to live in the moment more. My aim for 2020 is to practise mindfulness properly again and to see its full benefits.

Merry Christmas To You All

I just wanted to take this time to thank you for following my blog and my journey with anxiety. I hope that this blog has helped people out there, giving you some help and hope. I hope that you have a great festive period and enjoy the last of 2019.

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year To You All.

The next instalment of this blog will be early 2020- so keep an eye out! Until then, take care.

December is for reflection and contentment.

Already dreading the January blues? Take a look on my blog post here on how to combat those dreaded blues!

Don’t Let Anxiety Hold You Back. Here’s Why You Need To Keep Going.

A couple of years ago, my anxiety was at its worst. Each day was a struggle. I’d wake up and already feel drained and anxious about the day ahead. My worries consumed me. I had a big grey cloud hanging over my head, threatening to rain down on me any minute. But I didn’t let anxiety hold me back. I carried an umbrella. You shouldn’t let anxiety hold you back either.

The Worst Days

The worst days of my anxiety had me experiencing the Sunday night feeling every. I just dreaded what was going to happen each day, even though nothing really terrible happened at all. It was like I was living inside my head, inside a constant horror movie. One that was full of twists and turns, and seemingly never ending.

My stomach felt like it was in constant knots and I would over analyse everything and anything. If someone suggested anything remotely out of my comfort zone, I would decline and not attend or go. I wouldn’t push myself. Ever.

I just did what I could to get by each day. There were situations I didn’t want to be in, so I made sure I was never in them. I was in my own bubble. One I did not want popped.

How I’ve Moved On.

The best thing that I ever did for myself was to seek help. I went through the NHS Steps to Wellbeing program and was, thankfully, given one to one counselling. It is one of the best things I have done for myself.

My counsellor taught me about danger and threat levels. This stuck with me. Say you’re afraid of sharks and you watch Jaws, you would be feeling a danger level of 10 and a threat level of 10. Now, if you’re in the ocean swimming away from one, this would be accurate. But, if you are just watching a movie, your threat level should be at zero.

I had to apply this to my life. I had to realise that just because my brain thought that I was constantly being threatened, it didn’t mean that I was in imminent danger.

My counsellor taught me other tools and coping mechanisms. I learnt so much. I then would practise my new tools and practises as much as I could. It was an incredibly difficult few years. I was running uphill, carrying a weight on my back. It was heavy, but every few yards, something would drop out of the bag and make it that little bit lighter.

There were many pitfalls, stumbles and bumps in the road. It’s not been a linear line of improvement. It’s been all over the place. But I kept going. I kept carrying that load, letting it get that bit lighter over time.

What I do Now That I would Never Have Done Before.

It sounds ridiculous, but there are things I do now that I would have found impossible two or three years ago. They may seem simple to someone else, but to me they were a big deal.

Recently, I’ve started volunteering for my children’s PTA at school. This was a huge thing for me, considering I would have firmly shook my head and said “No” at the idea a few years back, without even putting much thought into it. This time round, I thought “Why not?”. The first meeting was a bit nerve-wracking, but since then I have really gotten into it and I am doing something that will further my confidence, abilities and something that gets me involved with the local community.

I also began networking as part of my mission to get my self employed business off the ground. Again, this is something I was actively avoiding a year ago.

Even small and simple steps, like going out with a group of people I didn’t know well, or going to a friend’s house for the day was a big mission for me beforehand. Now, I look forward to things like this.

I often sit back and reflect. I sit there and realise that I am doing things that I would never have considered doing before. It upset me too much and made me too anxious.

How I’ve Improved With Time.

It’s easy to fall into a trap in the early days of anxiety thinking that you will never get better. That you will never do certain things again, because it is too much of a strain for you. Thankfully, over time I have improved.

There are still things I feel anxious over and still things I’m not too comfortable with, but my hope is that I continue to improve with time. I urge anyone feeling hopeless, to set themselves small goals that they can achieve. This will boost your confidence bit by bit, allowing yourself to build up to the bigger things.

I Constantly Challenge Myself.

For me, giving into my anxieties is not an option. I constantly challenge myself to push my limits. It’s not easy at times, sometimes I just want to curl up and revert back to saying “No”. But, I know that will get me no where in the long run.

So I set myself challenges, I think of a reward I’d like at the end of it; whether thats a foot rub from my Husband or a chocolate bar. But I reward myself for achieving things that cause me anxieties. I sit through the uncomfortable feelings and I push myself as much as I can do.

Anxiety is a horrid monster that takes over your whole being, if you don’t chip away at it bit by bit. I found that when I don’t push myself and I remain comfortable in my own bubble, the anxiety ends up creeping in and making what I can do at the time seem impossible again, then everything gets worse. Whereas, if I’m brave and take a big breath and chip away at it, I can push my limits and boundaries, experience new things and reduce the anxiety bubble.

Keep Climbing Up That Mountain, It’ll Be Worth It.

Keep Going, It Gets Easier.

If you’re at a point in your life where you feel overwhelmed by the future, by social plans or events, please keep going. Don’t let anxiety win. Life gets easier. It really does, you just have to believe in yourself and your abilities.

Anxiety has a habit of making you feel like you can’t achieve anything. Your self-worth and self-esteem is low and your confidence is at rock bottom. Going shopping or to a friends house may seem like climbing a mountain, bit it won’t always feel like this.

Keep going. Keep pushing yourself that little bit at a time outside of your comfort zone. That is where the growth is.

Even The Bad Days Get Easier.

As time goes on, you will find that although the bad days don’t disappear entirely, the bad days get easier. The bad days also don’t last as long. Where you may be stuck in an anxiety rut at the moment, it won’t always be a rut.

Even that awful feeling of dread lessens as time goes on. Time is a great healer and that is certainly the case here.

My bad days have lessened drastically. I no longer feel the constant Sunday night dread. I just aim to improve myself and challenge myself frequently. Anxiety doesn’t not own me, it is just a dragon I have to aim to take charge of.

Like me, don’t let anxiety hold you back. Keep going. One day you’ll look back and realise you could overcome it. Just take one step at a time.

Read this if you don’t know where to start on tackling anxiety.

If you’d like to know more about my journey with anxiety- start at the beginning.

8 Difficult Moments In The Past That Have Shaped Me For The Better

Life is full of ups and downs. I am a firm believer though, that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it is hard to find what that reason is, but you need to be hopeful that there is indeed a reason behind everything in life. I look back on parts of my life, where things were difficult and I felt drained, exhausted and down.

The difficult moments.

But these difficult moments shaped me. They formed my pathway in life and I realise now the importance of each of these difficult times.

Hard times often bring positive changes in life. Here are some of the difficult moments that have shaped my life.

The Difficult Moments From My Past.

Being Bullied at School.

I was bullied when I was at school. Sometimes for a silly reason, sometimes for no reason at all. But those years at high school were not the easiest at times. Thankfully I had a supportive family and friends around me so things weren’t as bad as they could have been.

How has being bullied shaped my life? Well it makes me empathetic for those that have also been bullied. It’s made me conscious never to let another person feel like I did through my words and actions. It’s made me want to protect my boys through their life and to ensure that they neither bully or get bullied.

I have also learnt that I am stronger than I think.

8 Difficult Moments In The Past That Have Shaped Me For The Better

Leaving for Uni was Life Changing.

Going to university was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I felt so home sick half the time, this didn’t disappear in the first year. I still longed to be back home even in my final year. I could never regret it though.

Being at university taught me how to be independant for the first time. I was in charge of my laundry, my cooking etc. I was the one in charge of my time management. I got a job and I had to balance that with lectures and work. I was living with friends, but I was becoming independent. I am so grateful for the life lessons university gave me. Even when it was difficult.

Friends Come and Go.

Being ditched by friends is a hard lesson. It happens to all of us, it happens for different reasons but it hurts like hell. It’s so hard to move on and forget about them and not constantly chase them.

It’s then difficult seeing what they’re up to. How they’re loving life, yet not letting you be a part of it. But over time, I realise now that friends come and go, and that in your journey of life, you can’t have the same people for the whole way. I go into this more on this blog post on friendship timelines.

I have realised that these friends have truly either been there to teach me something, to be a part of a season in my life or through all the times I’ve lost a friend, I have been ever more grateful for the true ones.

Ending A Relationship.

Breaking up with someone is extremely difficult. I had been dumped before, but I have only broken someone’s heart once and it is not something I would want to repeat.

I was left wondering if it was the right decision for days, weeks and even months after. What if I had thrown it all away for the wrong reasons? With time, I had to trust my gut instinct and trust my heart. I knew that the relationship had run its course. I knew I would miss my ex. But it was ultimately the right thing to do. It led me to my husband.

It has also given me the ability to sympathise with those that do the breaking up. It’s not an easy thing to do, not at all.

Losing a Baby.

Experiencing miscarriages is incredibly hard. In fact, I have never experienced anything as awful and truly heartbreaking as my first miscarriage. It broke me in a way nothing ever could again. I still think about the babies I could have had now. But, I have also got to be thankful and appreciate the fact that I have been lucky to have children.

I have to cherish the babies that I do have. I have never taken them for granted. I love them with my whole heart, unconditionally. The miscarriages showed me how easy it is to lose everything. Now I hold onto the two beautiful children I have even tighter.

If you have lost a baby and are struggling to come to terms with the loss, this book has some great reviews on Amazon- ‘Miscarriage: What every Woman needs to know’.

Losing Family Members.

In recent years, I have lost my Aunty, Uncle and Grandad. Each of these deaths have been difficult to deal with and have left me heartbroken. Each one have had an impact on my family.

It encourages me to make the most of the family I do have. You never know when your last day will be with someone, so it is important to make the most of them, to hold on tight and always let someone know how much you love them and how much they mean to you. It has made me grateful for those I do have in my life still. It has reminded me that we’re not invincible and that we have to cherish those we have and never go to bed on an argument.

My Operations.

Over the years, I have had 6 operations. I have white coat syndrome and hospitals and doctors freak me out. Having to deal with my health issues and the operations have made me stronger. It has tested me and I have realised I can cope a lot better than I think I can.

My Anxieties.

I am constantly learning and improving with my anxieties. Having suffered for years now, it has made me appreciate the good days more. Having to carry on day in day out when my anxiety was at its worse, and each time I attend something that tests my anxiety, I came out the other side. I realise that I can cope. I am stronger than I think.

I am strong.

I have also learnt that there are positives to having anxiety.

I have learnt nothing but good things about Matt Haig’s ‘9 Reasons To Stay Alive’ book.

It’s The Difficult Times That Shapes Us.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. No matter how bad a situation is, no matter how tough things are currently, hold onto hope that in the future it will all make sense. Eventually life balances out. All of my hardships have brought me to where I am today and I feel grateful for all of the life lessons they have taught me.

This post may contain affiliate links. If clicked on, this will cost you nothing more, but will give me a small commission which helps with the running of this blog. Thank you for your continued support.

How To Begin Embracing Your Quirks

Suffering with anxiety, it can be difficult to think positively about yourself. All you notice are things about yourself that you wish you could change, or focus on something negative on yourself that someone once mentioned. You’re then stuck in a loop of low self esteem due to focusing on the negatives. But what if we embraced the quirks that we have?

We Are Often Too Embarrassed To Be Ourselves.

Too often, those with anxiety and depression are too afraid to be themselves through fear of judgement and not feeling good enough. Those that suffer with self esteem issues find themselves embarrassed and afraid to be open and their true selves to the outside world.

We all have unique and individual personalities that we should embrace. But we are fearful of social rejection and being ridiculed, so we hide away the characteristics that make us truly ourself.

How to embrace your quirks.

Start by writing a list of your quirks. I’ll list mine now to show you my example.

  • I have a habit of tapping my feet and wriggling my toes when I’m watching TV.
  • I love getting absorbed into any Ant and Dec programmes.
  • I get a bit soppy at times, so I often get excited at the lead up to Christmas and emotional when Christmas is over. I’m also always worrying and sweating over the small stuff.
  • I write endless lists about everything. I love list making.
  • Wanting things at home to have their own home.
  • My obsession with PJS. I will never own enough.
  • The youth in me still, over things such as unicorns and mermaids.
  • My daft moments. Like when I thought slugs were a poor mans snail, only they didn’t have a ‘house’.
  • Enjoying the small ‘simple’ things in life, like the seasonal menus at Costa, or when I’m A Celeb starts back on TV.

When you’ve got your list, focus on each one of these everyday for the next few weeks. Tell people about it. Embrace each quirk and show the world the real you without fear of embarrassment. It will be difficult to begin with, but over time you will start to feel confidence.

They say with confidence, that youve got to fake it till you make it.

Don’t Shy Away From Who You Are

Your individual quirks and personality traits defines who you are. Don’t shy away from who you are.

Your anxiety and depression may make you feel worthless, self conscious and make you question yourself. You may feel embarrassed and have low self esteem, but the only way to build it up is to start to embrace your true self. You have to fake your confidence until you start to believe in yourself.

By writing your list of quirks, focusing on each one everyday, you will start to boost your confidence and be able to embrace your confidence.

By writing your list of quirks, focusing on each one everyday, you will start to boost your confidence and be able to embrace your confidence.

For more helpful articles that can help boost your self esteem and tackle anxiety, try reading 14 Ideas on How to Make Your Spirit Feel Free and Boost Your Self Esteem With This Simple Challenge.

Try The Self Esteem Workbook For Women to help work through ways to boost your self esteem.

This Good Vibes, Good Life book is great at exploring how self-love is the key to unlocking your greatness.

This article may contain affiliate links, if clicked and an item is purchased, it will not cost you anything extra. However, it will mean I get a small bit of commission to help with the running of this blog.

10 Ways To Help Keep Anxiety At Bay This Christmas

The festive season can be the most wonderful time of the year. But it can also be one of the most stressful times of the year. From the financial strain of buying presents, attending events and social gatherings and treating your loved ones, to the social anxieties the festive season and all of the parties brings. It certainly requires some strength from within. So, how do you keep anxiety at bay this Christmas?

  1. Say no if you need to. If an event or party is giving you more grief than what it’s worth, then just say no. I don’t mean shutting yourself away from the rest of the World and pushing people away, but really question the situation that is making you worry; is it worth it? This time of the year there are always events and situations that we push ourselves to be in and yet really we gain nothing from it but our own torture and upset. Learn to gracefully say no but don’t worry about letting people down, you do need to look after number one.
  2. Don’t put yourself under financial strain. If you can’t afford to do or buy something, then just don’t do it or buy it. People will understand if they are genuine people in your life. As for children, they far more appreciate the presence of a parent rather than the presents.
  3. Make time for yourself. It is so essential to press pause on plans and life to take care of yourself, especially this time of the year. If you fancy binge watching that Netflix show you’ve had on your list for months, or fancy a luscious bath or just want to curl up on your bed and read a book then please do that. Set a date with yourself for yourself.
  4. Keep a balance with food. Yes indulge, it is Christmas time after all! And don’t feel bad about it- this festive period and the indulgant food only comes round once a year so go for it. But, keep a balance- keep eating those healthy veggies and fruit because the vitamins and goodness from them really will help boost your mental health. Also, make sure you keep hydrated and drink plenty.
  5. If you’re currently in treatment for CBT or counselling, then do keep up with your treatment and sessions. Although it is a manic time of year, it is vital to keep yourself and your mental health as a priority and the more you do the techniques you’re taught, the easier life will become. You may even find the techniques help with the situations you’re dealt with this time of year.
  6. Don’t stress the small stuff. If you are busting a gut and feeling drained to try and get every little thing done for everyone, then just stop. Stop stressing; your friends and family will not judge you at all and will still love you dearly.  Sometimes, you just have to breathe and let it all just be. Everything will fall into place. If you constantly stress about the small things then the holidays will fly by and you won’t have enjoyed a single moment of it.
  7. The simple things in life will bring you the most joy. You’ll soon realise that actually, it’s the small, simple things in life that will create happiness for you. That little walk down the road, looking at the twinkling Christmas lights in the houses you past, or the smell of the festive drink from the coffee shop. Look for the small subtle things in each day and the magic of Christmas will soon shine through.
  8. Create reminders. I find that this time of year requires endless lists of everything you have to remember. From sending those Christmas cards, swapping presents, attending social events and school events. When I’m stressed, I end up almost going into survival instinct mode, where I just focus on what I have to do there and then to get by. This can be detrimental when it comes to forgetting things. So, as soon as something pops into your head, set a reminder on your phone for when you need it to go off. These reminders have saved my butt several times over the past few weeks.
  9. Seek comfort in your close ones. You’ll find that friends and family are also feeling the strain of this time of the year, so grab a coffee with them and have a rant and a rave. Offloading and bonding over it all with those you love will give you that warm cosy feeling that this time of year is all about.
  10. Remember it will all soon be over. As hard as the holidays are, they fly by. And actually for me, it is my favourite time of the year, despite how overwhelming they can be. That’s why I am going to be letting go of what doesn’t matter and holding on to those small, simple and subtle moments that this wonderful time of year brings. I am going to be festive, fun and find the happiness in the little moments. I am not going to let this overwhelm me and try to people please so much that I forget myself; so remember- it doesn’t last long. Blink and it’ll all soon be over.

What do you dread about this time of year? What do you look forward to? Have you got any Holiday mental health boosting tips to share? Pop a comment in the box, I would love to hear from you.

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I will not be blogging over the Christmas holidays, as I will be spending every last minute with my family and just having a well deserved break from it all. However, I will be back at the end of next month with a new post for you all. In the mean time, do follow us on social media; the links are above, for more mini doses of Me Against Myself. Thank you. Until next time, I wish you all A Very Merry Christmas and a Happy Anxious Free New Year!

Anxiety, Depression and How They Affect Housework

Anxiety and depression can make the simplest of tasks difficult to manage. In certain circumstances, some people battle with getting out of bed each day. In others, some find themselves cleaning their homes from head to toe each day and have OCD compulsions. Anxiety and depression affect the housework, how often we do it and how we manage it.

If you are going through a really difficult depressive or anxious time, then I would urge to seek help from a professional, such as your GP. If you find that you are in a slump, try these 8 tips on how to get out of it.

Housework Can and Will Wait

When you find yourself going through a particularly difficult time, don’t feel guilty about the housework. It can and will wait for you to get better. The most important thing is to focus on yourself and your mental health and wellbeing.

Seek professional help and focus on getting yourself better first. When you feel that you are able to tackle more each day, start off slow. Bring in the troops without embarrassment or guilt too. See if you have some friends or family there to help with elements. If someone offers, than accept it. It’s not shameful to accept help, it’s likely that if you were feeling yourself, that you would also offer help to those that needed it.

Don’t take on too much too soon. We don’t need to Marie Kondo our house straight away, but even just keeping on top of the dishes and kitchen side will help. Eventually, you can build up to creating a cleaning schedule.

Anxiety, Depression and How They Affect Housework

Cleaning Schedules Work Wonders

The best way to organise cleaning and keeping on top of housework, would be to create a cleaning schedule. You could do it to fit your current lifestyle and responsibilities. For example, if you work long hours on certain days, try to schedule your cleaning for your days off.

I follow The Organised Mum Method, which is a great method of keeping on top of cleaning. Team TOMM splits the housework into 2 levels; level 1 are basic jobs that just need to be done quickly (spending no more than 15 minutes) such as making beds, or making sure floors are clean and level 2 jobs. Level 2 jobs are to take no more than half an hour and are divided into rooms depending on the day, so for example, Monday is living room day.

Then there is a Friday focus where you get to spend half an hour on a Friday doing a deeper clean on a room and this works on an 8 week rotation. So for example, if it was on the bedroom, you could have a clear out of your wardrobe. Her website explains things in great detail, and her book is available on Amazon. It is the best, most manageable cleaning schedule I have come across.

If You Find Yourself Cleaning Too Much, Stop!

It’s easy when you are struggling to throw your energies into activities in a bid to cover up your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes people with anxiety and depression can develop OCD tendencies and want their home to be clean and tidy constantly, or they may feel stressed if it isn’t.

Instead of cleaning constantly, try putting your energies into some self-care or a hobby instead. Take up running, baking, cycling, cooking, sewing or any type of crafts. You will find yourself feeling accomplished without the smell of bleach permanently etched in your nostrils. By adopting a cleaning schedule, you can still keep on top of what needs doing, but without over doing it.

If You Find Yourself Cleaning Too Much, Stop!

Hiring A Cleaner.

At times things can just simply get too much. Then the thought of becoming behind on the housework can make you feel even worse, especially when you have a family. If it is an option, a good alternative to battling against the scrubbing, is to hire a cleaner. Obviously, this isn’t an option for everyone.

Even if you hired one for 2 hours every fortnight, they can help do the deeper bits which you may find difficult to get on top of. There is nothing wrong in reaching out for help in any situation. So if the housework is getting on top of you and you want to focus on your recovery, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the constant list of jobs; then see if you can pass this job onto a cleaner.

Hinch Yourself Happy is a best selling book by Mrs Hinch. Mrs Hinch was known for struggling with anxiety before she found cleaning became therapeutic for her.

If you are struggling to clean and keep on top of the housework, remember that the most important thing is you’re recovery and boosting your mental health. The housework can and will wait. However, when you are feeling more on top of everything, try a cleaning schedule- but remember not to end up cleaning too much. As a final note, if you can afford a cleaner, even if it’s fortnightly, try delegating this life chore so you can spend more time on self care!

If you’re unsure of how to begin tackling anxiety, check out my blog post here.

This blog post may contain affiliate links. If opened and you order anything, it will not cost you anything extra, however I will receive a small commission which helps with the running of this blog. Thank you for your continued support.

What Makes You Laugh? Why You Need To Be Laughing Every Day!

Laughter is a hugely underrated activity. A lot of us may do this often, but often a lot of us lose the ability to laugh when mental health issues are weighing down on us. At times, anxiety and depression can leave you gasping for air, let alone expelling excess air in a belly roaring laugh. So, what makes you laugh? And why is it important to try and do this each and everyday?

We All Have Different Laughter Triggers.

We all find different things funny. Write a list of your laughter triggers. Here’s mine:

  • My amazing boys. My children often do or say hilarious things.
  • Ant and Dec. Two of the funniest people to grace my TV presence. I love watching I’m a Celeb and Saturday Night Takeaway.
  • Toilet Humour. Yes, I still have toilet humour.
  • You’ve Been Framed. A TV classic!
  • My family. These are the people that make me laugh the most.
  • Friends. I love having a laughing fit with a friend.
  • Old memories. A trip down memory lane, focusing on the funny moments that reel off in my brain, like real life clips that belong on You’ve Been Framed, always does the trick.
  • Being stupidly tired. Does anyone else get to that tired giggly state?

Friends is the ultimate TV show that makes me laugh.

Try a funny book- Very British Problems has great reviews!

Surround Yourself With The Right People.

People that spark joy and laughter are the best people to be around. Life is too short to be around those that are only interested in idle gossip and drama.

Make sure your circle of friends are the type that aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves and the ones that you often smile and laugh around. If they’re not, make sure you are finding company that loves a giggle too!

If you’re unsure of your friendships- read my blog post on how to tell if your friendships are healthy.

Laugh Each and Every Day.

It’s important to make laughter part of your every day life. Laughter releases happy endorphins, whilst reducing the levels of stress hormones such as cortisol and dopamine.

It provides a positive release of emotions, leaving you lighter and happier. It is good for you. But we, as adults, don’t do it enough.

Children laugh over 400 times a day, where as us adults laugh a lot less. Yet, we are the ones that need it the most. Try to find the laughter and humour in every day life. Look at your list, make sure you’re fitting one of these activities into your life each day.

Maybe it’s going on YouTube to watch funny videos? Or going for a drink with a friend?

Laughter connects us all, it takes away from the stresses and strains of every day life and gives us a work out with our stomach muscles! Get more laughter in your life.

You need to be laughing each and every day!

When Was The Last Time You Laughed?

If it wasn’t today, then make it your mission to have a laugh at something today! Try something from your list of laughter triggers, or go on YouTube to find a funny video compilation. Allow yourself time each and everyday to have a giggle.

Soon, you will feel the benefits of this simple, yet effective, human response.

You could also check out my blog post and get some ideas on how to boost your happiness.

What is a laughter trigger for you? Pop a comment below, I would love to hear from you.

This blog post may contain affiliate links. If you click on these and you order an item, you will not be charged extra, however I will get a small commission to help with the running of this blog. Thank you.

The Friendship Timeline Theory That Changed My Attitude.

As I have mentioned in a previous blog post, when I explained the game of ‘Friendship Tennis’ I went through counselling with my local NHS mental health service. I knew I needed to seek a little guidance and help to boost myself and get me out of the dark hole I had found myself in. This was when I found out about the friendship timeline theory that changed my attitude.

One of the reassuring themes that we discussed was my overwhelming habit of feeling negative about myself and not feeling good enough.

Friendships were the reason I felt bad about myself.

Or so I thought, anyway. But I felt bad about myself because I wasn’t investing in myself enough. Thankfully, with my counsellor, I began working on my self-esteem and building it back up by doing things for myself.

Building up my self esteem is ultimately what made me feel better about myself, my life and those in it. More of that another time! If you need to boost your self esteem- this book on Amazon is amazing.

At the time though, I was always dwelling on the past. It’s an extremely common thing to do when you have anxieties. In particular, I was dwelling on those that had left my life. I was constantly blaming myself for the friendships that had departed. I was constantly questioning what was wrong with me.

It all changed when I learnt about timelines and friendships.

I once questioned my counsellor on why people leave. It was then that he gave me advice that I have taken away and never forgotten. It has completely changed my view on life and friendships. I will explain the theory below.

In life, we have a timeline. This runs linear. But what if our friendships don’t run linear? Also, imagine all of the hundreds of people that will cross our path in life. Do we really imagine that we can carry them forwards, for the rest of our lives along side us?

Friendships can’t last the entirety of our lives. There are far too many people to meet, that will weave in and out of our lives. Friendships also don’t have to run in a straight line. Some friendships come and go and come back at a later date again. Some come and then go, on with their own pathway in life.

Some friends are for a season, a reason or a lifetime.

This is a well known saying that I have heard hundreds of time. But now more than ever it makes sense. Not everyone can always be a part of your life. Some are there for a season. Some suit your current lifestyle and situation, but will not always. For example, I had a lovely group of friends at university but I haven’t remained in touch with all of them. But the ones I have, are extremely special to me.

Some people are there for a reason. They could be there to teach you something, show you want you don’t want in a friendship, or teach you about yourself. For example, a recent friend of mine I thought the absolute world of, however, after some time she became distant and then just stopped talking altogether and went on her own way. I was so upset when it initially happened, but I learnt a lot from the friendship.

I learnt not to afraid to be myself, not to cover up the good things in my life just to stop a friend getting envious. I also learnt a big lesson- if someone is talking negatively about friends of theirs, there is a good chance that is how they speak about you too. That is something I watch out for now.

Then there are lifetime friends.

Life time friends are the one that stick around for the long haul. However, this doesn’t mean that they don’t weave in and out of your life. My best friend and I have been through times where we’ve been so close, then haven’t spoken as we’ve both been busy with our own lives, seeing each other all of the time to now catching up where we can. But because she is a lifetime friend, I know she’s there if I need her.

You can go weeks, months, even years not talking to these lifetime friends. When you do eventually talk, it feels like no time has past. So just because a friend is being distant with you now, if they are meant to be in your life in the long haul, they will weave in and out.

If you wanted to learn more about friendships, check out this book on Amazon.

Some friends are there for a season, a reason or a lifetime.

The correlation between friends and the effort made.

Another thing that I learnt, is you need to realistically look at how close a friend is currently and expect a certain level of effort based on that.

It doesn’t mean they will always be at that point, but take note for now;

  • If a friend isn’t a close friend, you don’t need to be talking or seeing them regularly at all. They don’t fit into your life as easily as maybe they once did. Make sure you are playing the tennis game. Effort should work both ways, but don’t expect it to be too regular.
  • If they are fairly close, but not a best friend or a daily part of your life, you will speak fairly regularly but don’t have to catch up too often in person.
  • If they are close and fit into your life perfectly at this moment in time, you will probably be speaking most days and meeting up a couple of times a month. These are your close friends for now but who knows where they will be on the friendship line in the future?

I hope that this has helped you to realise that a persons effort should be based on where they’re at in your life. I hope it has shown you that just because a friend isn’t close with you currently, that might just be for now, but in the future you may be closer.

If they have departed and are on their own pathway in life, then wish them well but know that they have served their purpose, season or reason.

Don’t forget- watch out for the toxic friendships and make sure that you are being treated right too.

This blog post may contain affiliate links. If you click on the link and purchase an item, you will be charged nothing extra, however I will receive a small commission which helps towards the running of this blog, thank you.

14 Ideas on How to Make Your Spirit Feel Free.

Summer time always reminds me of freedom. There is something so mood boosting about the sun shining, warmer weather and the longer days. My children are off school, we are currently not being ruled by the routine of everyday mundane life.

At the time of writing, the last of the summer holidays are looming and soon Autumn will be upon us. It got me thinking- what else makes my spirit feel free? If you are feeling tied down by everyday life, if you are feeling overwhelmed, why not try one of my ideas below and see how you feel after?

14 Ideas on How to Make Your Spirit Feel Free.
  1. A trip to the sea side. Being on the beach, with the sand sprinkling in between my toes and watching the waves crash into the sea; a moment of pure bliss and relaxation. It makes me realise that the World is huge and my problems are small. It makes me feel calm, content. It brings me back to my youth and the many trips to the beach I had. It makes me feel free. Why not take a day off and take a road trip to the beach? Build sandcastles, paddle in the sea and go explore the rock pools.
  2. Singing in the car. I love to sing along to music loudly on a car journey. I’m no good at singing, but it still allows me to feel free. Try it next time you’re in the car- sing loudly without a care in the world. Really feel the music.
  3. Having a lazy day. Having the odd lazy day reminds me how important it is to take time for myself. I never feel like I have time for it, but I do it anyway. It’s important to make time for yourself. I feel the freedom from the chains of the chores. It feels good. Allow yourself a lazy day from time to time and feel free from the everyday routine.
  4. Having a de-clutter. Sometimes I feel like material possessions and clutter can tie us down. So every so often, I love to have a de-clutter and give it away to charity. The home benefits from having a regular declutter, but your mind will too. For anyone wanting an easy and do-able cleaning system- try The Organised Mum Method– it really works!
  5. Reminder of my childhood days. I love to sit in my parent’s garden in a particular spot and look out to the fields that have been the backdrop to my childhood home. It reminds me of my childhood days, its brings me comfort but also it reminds me of how far I’ve come and what I’ve achieved over the years and it boosts my confidence. Is there a place you can go that will remind you of your childhood days?
  6. Playing at the park with my children. I love to head to the local park with my children and watch them play and explore. It’s a beautiful feeling when you’re pushing your child on the swing and watching their face gleefully light up. It’s a stark reminder that playtime doesn’t have to end just because you’re an adult. In fact, now more than ever we should allowing ourselves time each week to have fun. If you have children, make it a habit to visit your local park. If you don’t, find something fun to do with friends like paint balling or going to a mud run with inflatables.
  7. Exploring the woods or a new area. Going on a walk some where new exploring, or delving into the dark woods entwined by the tree branches above, often makes me feel alive. It reminds me that there is so much of this beautiful world that I am yet to explore and see, my children love it too and on the whole it’s just good for the soul. When was the last time you explored somewhere new? Go to the woods this weekend and take a note of all the wildlife around you.
  8. Strange comforts. I have a habit every night of taking my fluffy socks off in bed and then I love feeling the cold and softness of my bedsheets on my skin. To go from the fluffy warmth, to the soft coolness of the sheets is a comfort I get every night. Some may think it’s odd, but to have our own strange comforts- that’s true freedom. Have you got a strange comfort that boosts your mood?
  9. Baking. When, I bake and it is successful, I have such a euphoric feeling. I love to bake, but sometimes it doesn’t always go amazing, so when it does I do feel like I have really achieved something and I absolutely love to have my own hobbies and interests. Have you got a hobby that you enjoy? Why not try baking your favourite cake this week? Try this, Baking with Kim-Joy book here to give you some cute and creative bakes to make you smile.
  10. Being ahead/ on top of jobs. Whenever I am ahead of my job list, or at least on top of them and I am feeling in control, I feel very accomplished and free to then invest my spare time into me. Which is a very freeing feeling. Do you make an effort to make lists? Make sure to make them achievable so that you can feel this way too.
  11. Paddling feet in the paddling pool. This brings me back to childhood days too, so I love to pop my feet in a paddling pool and feel the coolness of the water wash over my toes and ankles. Go for a paddle in the sea or in a paddling pool. Feel the water, really feel it and breathe.
  12. Shopping. I love a bit of retail therapy. It’s not often that I am able to actually do it guilt free, so whenever I do it really does boost my spirits. Go on a little shopping trip and treat yourself to something nice.
  13. Whenever my anxieties leave me alone. Even if it is only for a moment, whenever I feel that I am not anxious in any way at all, that is the ultimate freeing feeling. To not be bound by those negative thoughts and feelings and being filled with self doubt and anxious thoughts. To feel care free, that makes my spirit feel alive. Is there anything you do in particular to keep your anxiety in check? Do it today. To help on the times where you feel in a slump, check out my blog post here.
  14. Drinking with friends. Love and laughter are often two of the most needed things in life. So whenever I am able to catch up with a good friend over a drink, have a light hearted evening and a laugh, it really does make me feel great. Arrange an evening out with your friends to celebrate and drink to life.

On the whole, I do enjoy having my daily and weekly routine. It helps me to keep everything in order, from what I need to be doing for my children and their school life, to what work I need to get done to when’s best to eat and go to bed.

But, from time to time, it is essential to get out of the mundane everyday life. To do something that will boost my spirit and make me feel lightness and freedom.

To read more fun ideas, check out my blog post here on 12 fun ideas to help boost happiness.

I love to explore new places, such as woods and ruins.

What makes your spirit feel free? Is there anything on the list above that you love to do too? Why not give a few a go, or try and complete the list by October and see how you feel.

This article may contain affiliate links. If you click on these and make a purchase, it will not cost you any extra but I will get a small commission from the sale to help with the running of this blog. Thank you.