For anyone that follows me on my Facebook page you will know that last week was a difficult week for me. It started off positively. Then a curveball came.
Life is good at throwing curveballs. They knock you off your feet and it’s up to you to scramble to get up again. If this has ever happened to you, you’ll know that at times it’s difficult to continue as normal. So, we have to adjust and redirect ourselves back to a path. Perhaps this is a new path, but still, it’s one that is going forwards and that’s all that matters.
What caused me to change direction?
Well for a few months now, I was questioning things. I had my fingers in too many pies, so to speak and I was stretching myself out way too much over various different things. How could I go on like this? I was exhausted, drained. So, I had my doubts for a few months that I may need to switch things up and to make a few sacrifices. But I needed a push, a reminder that this was necessary. So I had an appointment with a business coach.
He reminded me why I shouldn’t be so stretched out; all of my projects required a certain level of commitment and energy and I didn’t have enough to go round so everything suffered. By putting limited time and energy into all of it, I wasn’t getting anywhere fast but I was fastly exhausting myself. Enough was enough.
I hate making difficult decisions.
But as we know, throughout life there will be a great number of times when we do need to make a decision. We need to be logical, weigh up the advantages and disadvantages and come to a conclusion. And that’s what I did. Now for someone that often suffers with anxiety, let me tell you now, decision making is really not a strong point. But nether the less, I made one.
Once I made my decision, I cried. Anxiety thrives off uncertainty and suddenly that’s all I could see- an uncertain future. I am never one to quit things or to give in- you can thank my fear of failure and stubbornness for that- and so my anxiety set in. Then my emotions went. I cried. I cried for what I saw as failure, embarrassment but I cried because I knew I had to give up on something that I genuinely loved doing. But I knew it was for the best.
4 years ago I started writing a parenting blog.
I have put in so many hours into this blog and worked so hard on it. But after a while, I was putting in so much more than I was getting back. It became a chore. But it was a brand I’d built up that I didn’t want to let go of. Only I knew I had to.
It was the first thing I ever did for myself and to help me indulge in my writing passion. It was my project. Another baby of mine. But by the end, it had me drained. So many hours went into it and I got no return.
I was sick of never catching up with my jobs. I was tired of how much I had to juggle. Then I got the advice I needed to hear- that I needed to give something up.
It didn’t make me a failure.
If anything I had 4 years worth of written work to act as a portfolio for my future writing projects and clients. But more than that- it showed the growth of me as a writer, a mother and a person. I had grown. My blog had grown. My writing had gotten better, more emotive and the blogs were more attractive looking. My very first writing project had done what was needed- it had taught me so much, helped me to connect with wonderful people, given me experience and most importantly enjoyment. Now it was time to move on.
So that’s what I’ve done. I’m now focusing my time and efforts into writing projects for other people. Why other people and not myself? Well it lessens my work load this way- I’m not the one solely responsible for the words from start to finish. Meaning, I have more time on my hands to enjoy my family and to stop burning myself out.
It also means that I have more time on my hands to grow this blog- one that I started only a year ago but already I see so much promise with it. A blog that can actually help other people. I have a passion for parenting, yes, as I enjoy my children and love them to pieces but now they’re older- I want to keep moments with them more private as I’m sure they will respect that. But I have a passion for opening up about mental health; not enough people talk about it and the world needs that now more than ever.
So, here I am.
I look forward to writing many more posts for you all.
So if you’ve ever had a project that is draining you, but you’re too stubborn to give it up- just try and let go. As they say; as one door closes, another one opens.
Don’t let the anxiety and uncertainty scare you- take a leap into the unknown. You never know, what you think is a failure is actually a lesson- and it’s time to take that forward.
Also- you can always return when you’ve grown elsewhere. Which I may well do one day.
If you liked this blog post then please give it a like and a share. Pop a comment below, I would love to hear from you. Also don’t forget to like my social media pages, links are at the top of this page.
I am taking a break over the Easter holidays to focus on some much needed family time and on another exciting opportunity. I will be back to publishing some fresh new content in a few weeks. So please do go and follow this Facebook page and get some mini doses till then.