When I was in the midst of my anxiety, I was always searching for cures and a way that I can get 100% better again and feel my old self. It became evident, after while, that everywhere I looked there was always the same result; there is no cure for anxiety.
I felt lost and unsure of the future.
Finding out there was no cure disheartened me initially, because I felt so unbelievably hopeless. I felt like I was never going get better and that I was always going to feel the way I did. How I felt was awful, I was full of dread, of anxiety, full of worrying thoughts and feeling consumed by negative thoughts and feelings all of the time. I had really low self-esteem and I just felt hopeless.
Time is a great healer.
Thankfully, over time I realised that although there wasn’t a cure, that you can definitely learn to live with anxiety and you can absolutely have more days then bad.
You just have to keep going. You have to keep positive. There are so many coping techniques and strategies you can use in everyday life to help you feel better. I did CBT a couple of times too, which helped massively and change my way of thinking. I’ve also read a few books which I will post below here:
- Dare; The new way to end anxiety and panic attacks. This book helped me so much as it taught me a lot about how the mind works and why we feel the physical anxiety symptoms that we do. I would highly recommend this book as it really did help with my knowledge and understanding of anxiety and it teachers you some great techniques to help tackle those difficult situations.
- Overcoming Low Self-Esteem. This book was great at tackling the self critical voice that I always seemed to have, I was being too hard on myself and felt so low and unworthy. With the help of this book and the tasks it gets you to do, I slowly started to build my self esteem back up. Again, I really recommend this book.
- Mental Health daily tracker. Why not get yourself a simple book like this where you can track how you feel day to day and then over time you will see how far you’ve come, what you’ve survived and you may begin to discover some patterns in the way you’re feeling and I think this is always great as you can then progress with this knowledge and find the triggers if there is a pattern.
I’d found helpful tools and techniques to battle the anxiety.
I had discovered over the years that there were many books, podcasts, websites, mental health charities and people I could turn to. There were so many ways I could help manage the anxiety.
Over the years, I grew stronger. I started to feel a bit more ‘me’ again, although I realise now that I will never be the same person I once was, perhaps this is a blessing now. Anxiety has taught me kindness and I have become more compassionate towards others. I have become strong. I have had to deal with so many situations over the years that have made me feel down, hopeless, scared, anxious. I have overcome every single one.
But where there is no cure, there is no end to anxiety.
I have learnt so much, I have remained strong along the way. But, where there is no cure, there is never really going to be an end to the anxiety that I will suffer. There will always be bad days, they will never go away.
Sometimes an old trigger will set off a bad day, sometimes a toxic friendship will press my buttons and send me backwards again, sometimes I can blame hormones. But other times, there is no explanation on why I’m having a particularly anxious day.
The bad days are part of the journey of life.
Without bad days, you would never really appreciate the good ones. This has certainly been the case for myself. On the days when anxiety leaves me alone, I never ever take those moments of clarity and peace for granted. So everyday when the anxiety monster turns up, I am more grateful for the good in my life.
I’ve had to learn to ride the waves of anxiety. To accept the good with the bad. To endure the bad days with the best smile I can give it, even if it isn’t much of one at all.
So, if you are suffering with anxiety and wondering whether the bad days will go away entirely, I have to be honest and say no. But that shouldn’t make you hopeless. It should give you the drive to make the good ones even better, the gratefulness of what is good and great in your life when it occurs, the realness that this is life. It’s as simple as that; life truly is a rollercoaster. We have to take the ups and the downs.
Bad days are ok. Bad weeks are ok. But make sure that you are taking care of yourself, being kind and holding onto the hope that life is good and just because things are bad on certain days or months, that you will overcome these again.
Don’t forget to reach out if you need to, open up to family, a friend, a boss or a stranger. The Samaritans can be reached on 116 123.
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