8 Difficult Moments In The Past That Have Shaped Me For The Better

Life is full of ups and downs. I am a firm believer though, that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it is hard to find what that reason is, but you need to be hopeful that there is indeed a reason behind everything in life. I look back on parts of my life, where things were difficult and I felt drained, exhausted and down.

The difficult moments.

But these difficult moments shaped me. They formed my pathway in life and I realise now the importance of each of these difficult times.

Hard times often bring positive changes in life. Here are some of the difficult moments that have shaped my life.

The Difficult Moments From My Past.

Being Bullied at School.

I was bullied when I was at school. Sometimes for a silly reason, sometimes for no reason at all. But those years at high school were not the easiest at times. Thankfully I had a supportive family and friends around me so things weren’t as bad as they could have been.

How has being bullied shaped my life? Well it makes me empathetic for those that have also been bullied. It’s made me conscious never to let another person feel like I did through my words and actions. It’s made me want to protect my boys through their life and to ensure that they neither bully or get bullied.

I have also learnt that I am stronger than I think.

8 Difficult Moments In The Past That Have Shaped Me For The Better

Leaving for Uni was Life Changing.

Going to university was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I felt so home sick half the time, this didn’t disappear in the first year. I still longed to be back home even in my final year. I could never regret it though.

Being at university taught me how to be independant for the first time. I was in charge of my laundry, my cooking etc. I was the one in charge of my time management. I got a job and I had to balance that with lectures and work. I was living with friends, but I was becoming independent. I am so grateful for the life lessons university gave me. Even when it was difficult.

Friends Come and Go.

Being ditched by friends is a hard lesson. It happens to all of us, it happens for different reasons but it hurts like hell. It’s so hard to move on and forget about them and not constantly chase them.

It’s then difficult seeing what they’re up to. How they’re loving life, yet not letting you be a part of it. But over time, I realise now that friends come and go, and that in your journey of life, you can’t have the same people for the whole way. I go into this more on this blog post on friendship timelines.

I have realised that these friends have truly either been there to teach me something, to be a part of a season in my life or through all the times I’ve lost a friend, I have been ever more grateful for the true ones.

Ending A Relationship.

Breaking up with someone is extremely difficult. I had been dumped before, but I have only broken someone’s heart once and it is not something I would want to repeat.

I was left wondering if it was the right decision for days, weeks and even months after. What if I had thrown it all away for the wrong reasons? With time, I had to trust my gut instinct and trust my heart. I knew that the relationship had run its course. I knew I would miss my ex. But it was ultimately the right thing to do. It led me to my husband.

It has also given me the ability to sympathise with those that do the breaking up. It’s not an easy thing to do, not at all.

Losing a Baby.

Experiencing miscarriages is incredibly hard. In fact, I have never experienced anything as awful and truly heartbreaking as my first miscarriage. It broke me in a way nothing ever could again. I still think about the babies I could have had now. But, I have also got to be thankful and appreciate the fact that I have been lucky to have children.

I have to cherish the babies that I do have. I have never taken them for granted. I love them with my whole heart, unconditionally. The miscarriages showed me how easy it is to lose everything. Now I hold onto the two beautiful children I have even tighter.

If you have lost a baby and are struggling to come to terms with the loss, this book has some great reviews on Amazon- ‘Miscarriage: What every Woman needs to know’.

Losing Family Members.

In recent years, I have lost my Aunty, Uncle and Grandad. Each of these deaths have been difficult to deal with and have left me heartbroken. Each one have had an impact on my family.

It encourages me to make the most of the family I do have. You never know when your last day will be with someone, so it is important to make the most of them, to hold on tight and always let someone know how much you love them and how much they mean to you. It has made me grateful for those I do have in my life still. It has reminded me that we’re not invincible and that we have to cherish those we have and never go to bed on an argument.

My Operations.

Over the years, I have had 6 operations. I have white coat syndrome and hospitals and doctors freak me out. Having to deal with my health issues and the operations have made me stronger. It has tested me and I have realised I can cope a lot better than I think I can.

My Anxieties.

I am constantly learning and improving with my anxieties. Having suffered for years now, it has made me appreciate the good days more. Having to carry on day in day out when my anxiety was at its worse, and each time I attend something that tests my anxiety, I came out the other side. I realise that I can cope. I am stronger than I think.

I am strong.

I have also learnt that there are positives to having anxiety.

I have learnt nothing but good things about Matt Haig’s ‘9 Reasons To Stay Alive’ book.

It’s The Difficult Times That Shapes Us.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. No matter how bad a situation is, no matter how tough things are currently, hold onto hope that in the future it will all make sense. Eventually life balances out. All of my hardships have brought me to where I am today and I feel grateful for all of the life lessons they have taught me.

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