What Goals Should You Set This Year?

January is the start of a brand new book in your life. As the cheesy saying goes, you’ve got 365 pages ahead of you from the 1st January. These pages are the days to your year. It’s a good idea to set out some goals ahead of you. Sometimes New Years Resolutions don’t go according to plan, and that’s ok. I also find that the first few weeks of January you are so busy getting back into the funk of life. But now is a good time to set some goals for the year. What goals should you set this year?

Physical Goals

Perhaps you want to lose weight (I want to highlight here that this should be because you want to, or because of health reasons- not because of society’s pressures) so now is a good time to sit down and plan out a healthy diet plan.

Don’t eliminate “bad” foods altogether. If you don’t treat yourself from time to time then you are more likely to binge on the junk food and this will escalate quickly. Try to plan some treat food into the diet too. This way you’re more likely to stick to it. Also remember this isn’t a quick fix in Jan- plan for the whole 12 months and set yourself mini goals.

Getting more active is also a good idea. If you’re not wanting to sign up to the gym, there are plenty of other free activities you can do. You could try the couch to 5k Running Programme. You could get out on a daily mindful walk, which will not only help you to stay active but help with your mental health too. Or you could do some at home exercises. Perhaps you could sign up to some exercise classes like Zumba or Pilates.

There are plenty of exercise options out there. Exercise is a really great way to boost those endorphins and leave you feeling good. Again, set yourself small goals for the 12 months and build up. If you throw yourself into it too much to begin with, you may end up losing motivation.

Educational Goals

Maybe this year you’d like to study something new? There’s no age limit on learning. In fact I am constantly striving to learn new things all the time and take on smaller online courses to boost my knowledge, especially in my business sector.

However you could study for fun too- there are plenty of colleges that can offer evening classes in thinks like baking, textiles or IT skills. Have a look at what’s on locally to see if you want to increase your knowledge bank.

Personal Goals

Maybe there is a personal goal you’d like to achieve. For me last year, it was to not chase anyone anymore. I did really well with it although there were a few people that I did still make more of an effort with as I knew it wasn’t personal or in their abilities to make the same effort back at times.

Maybe there’s a bad habit you have, or maybe you don’t actually make enough time for yourself to do things that boost your joy or self esteem. For me I struggled with “me time” last year, so this year I want to set aside half an hour a day to do something selfish as such. As I realise how important this actually is.

Work Goals

Are you happy with your current career or job? Nothing needs to hold you back if you are unhappy and want to change direction with work life. Or perhaps you are looking to get a promotion, or a pay rise. Make this year your year to work hard on those work goals.

If it all feels too much at the moment and is overwhelming, break these work goals into smaller chunks. Also don’t forget that money isn’t everything and neither is work. Don’t spend your days grafting away whilst dealing with depression. Often, when we make a big life change, such as a change of jobs, it can be just what we need to help boost our mental health and give us a fresh start in life.

Life Goals

Have you got a bucket list? Maybe now is the ideal time to set yourself a goal to achieve from it. Or if you haven’t got one, why not make one? Now is a perfect time to start living life to the full and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

Or maybe, you just need to sit and review your life. If anxiety and depression has gotten a hold on you, maybe now is a great time to seek help and advice and address the deeper issues. CBT therapy, or counselling is great for working through issues and taking care of yourself.

Are there bigger goals in life that you want to work towards? Such as buying a house, or starting a family? These should only be tackled when the time is right, and naturally aren’t ones that happen easily. But if there are bigger life goals that you would like to accomplish soon, then maybe you could start taking small steps towards them, such as starting a saving plan.

However, if life is difficult at the moment, remember how important it is to take one day at a time. If anxiety is all too much for you right now, here is how you can begin tackling it.

Self- Care Goals

One of my goals for this year is to practise more self-care. Too often I find myself doing lots for others, but not enough for myself. Too often, I run myself into the ground most weeks trying to achieve work goals, and take care of my family. Often, these weeks go without allowing myself the time to recharge and refresh.

This year I am putting a stop to putting myself last. I see now the importance of self-care and how I need to be spending time on myself for everyone’s sake. I can then refresh myself so that I am the best version of myself to achieve everything else I need to day by day.

So, how can you set self-care goals? Maybe there are things you’d like to invest in, like getting your nails done or getting a facial or a massage. Or it could simply be putting 10 minutes aside each day to recharge your batteries. You could take a relaxing bath, read a book or watch a TV series. Make sure that this year you set yourself some self-care goals.

You can see through this post that there are many different goals you can set yourself for the year, and many different ways in which you can achieve them. If life is hard, then set the goal to just take one day at a time. The important thing to remember is that this is your life, and you are in control. But setting goals can be healthy and you get a great sense of accomplishment afterwards. What goals will you be setting this year?

If you’re struggling with the January blues, then read our post here.

Can It Really Be New Year, New Me?

So January is upon us and we are now in the new year stage. A lot of people find this is a great time to start New Years resolutions and make healthy changes in our lives. Some of us actually manage to achieve these, but some of us may give up a few weeks, or if you’re lucky, months into it. Can it really be ‘new year, new me’? Or is this just a phase that everyone goes through in January only to propel ourselves into feeling more miserable when we don’t achieve our New Years resolutions?

New Years Resolutions

How many times have you made a New Years resolution only to see it fail within a few months? Or how many of you see this as a completely fresh start and motivate yourself constantly to keep going?

I have had many a New Years resolution in the past fail. In fact most have. But one year, I made a New Years resolution/ challenge to bake every single recipe in this baking book I loved. I actually did it! I finished in the December and I felt triumph. Only it clashed with the resolution to lose weight. But I still managed to do it as it was doable- it was something I enjoyed.

Break Your Goals Down

So when you make your New Years resolutions, I would make ones that you will actually be able to achieve. If it’s something you know you will eventually hate or resent, don’t set it. You’ll feel disappointed in yourself if you fail but you’ll be setting yourself up for a failure if you don’t set yourself a realistic resolution in the first place.

Like losing weight, a very common one. It’s so generic. You need to be more specific and make it more do able. Perhaps only allow yourself to eat chocolate/ cake etc on a weekend and eliminate these out of your weekly diet. Perhaps say no to sugary drinks but only allow yourself one a week. If you ban yourself completely from something, you may end up rebelling. But if you set a realistic goal and break it down, you will manage it.

Really think about what you want to achieve and set yourself specific doable bite sized goals. This is the best way to accomplish a resolution or goal. My baking one was broken into doing one bake a week, by the end of the year I had to double and sometimes triple this but it helped with the longevity of the challenge.

Breaking Bad Habits

Another element of the New Year is to eliminate bad or toxic habits. In that respect, I find that sometimes someone just needs a bit of a kick to start the new behaviour. In that respect, the new year is a great signal for that. However, it must be noted that it takes years for a behaviour to form; so it can take a while for it to break.

Be patient with yourself. If you slip up a few times, don’t panic and give up entirely. Be kind to yourself, acknowledge the mistake, (which is easily done as your brain has been wired to behave that way or react that way over years) and keep trying.

Is it a new ‘you’ this New Year?

Is it a new ‘you’ this New Year?

So is it really new year, new me?

Well, it can be. If you struggle to ditch bad habits and toxic relationships, then the start of January can be a notable point to seriously think about changing your life. It signals a fresh start, which at times is all we need to kick start new behaviour and motivate us to succeed. 

We are all constantly changing within ourselves and often we are not the same person we were a few years back. So yes, we can see the New Year as a way to start this change. But make sure that it is a positive one. 

Treat yourself and others with kindness, don’t criticise yourself constantly and don’t give up. Find new ways to beat anxiety or depression.

I hope that you all have a wonderful start to 2020 and that if you need it to be a fresh start, that you make it a successful one.

Don’t Let Anxiety Hold You Back. Here’s Why You Need To Keep Going.

A couple of years ago, my anxiety was at its worst. Each day was a struggle. I’d wake up and already feel drained and anxious about the day ahead. My worries consumed me. I had a big grey cloud hanging over my head, threatening to rain down on me any minute. But I didn’t let anxiety hold me back. I carried an umbrella. You shouldn’t let anxiety hold you back either.

The Worst Days

The worst days of my anxiety had me experiencing the Sunday night feeling every. I just dreaded what was going to happen each day, even though nothing really terrible happened at all. It was like I was living inside my head, inside a constant horror movie. One that was full of twists and turns, and seemingly never ending.

My stomach felt like it was in constant knots and I would over analyse everything and anything. If someone suggested anything remotely out of my comfort zone, I would decline and not attend or go. I wouldn’t push myself. Ever.

I just did what I could to get by each day. There were situations I didn’t want to be in, so I made sure I was never in them. I was in my own bubble. One I did not want popped.

How I’ve Moved On.

The best thing that I ever did for myself was to seek help. I went through the NHS Steps to Wellbeing program and was, thankfully, given one to one counselling. It is one of the best things I have done for myself.

My counsellor taught me about danger and threat levels. This stuck with me. Say you’re afraid of sharks and you watch Jaws, you would be feeling a danger level of 10 and a threat level of 10. Now, if you’re in the ocean swimming away from one, this would be accurate. But, if you are just watching a movie, your threat level should be at zero.

I had to apply this to my life. I had to realise that just because my brain thought that I was constantly being threatened, it didn’t mean that I was in imminent danger.

My counsellor taught me other tools and coping mechanisms. I learnt so much. I then would practise my new tools and practises as much as I could. It was an incredibly difficult few years. I was running uphill, carrying a weight on my back. It was heavy, but every few yards, something would drop out of the bag and make it that little bit lighter.

There were many pitfalls, stumbles and bumps in the road. It’s not been a linear line of improvement. It’s been all over the place. But I kept going. I kept carrying that load, letting it get that bit lighter over time.

What I do Now That I would Never Have Done Before.

It sounds ridiculous, but there are things I do now that I would have found impossible two or three years ago. They may seem simple to someone else, but to me they were a big deal.

Recently, I’ve started volunteering for my children’s PTA at school. This was a huge thing for me, considering I would have firmly shook my head and said “No” at the idea a few years back, without even putting much thought into it. This time round, I thought “Why not?”. The first meeting was a bit nerve-wracking, but since then I have really gotten into it and I am doing something that will further my confidence, abilities and something that gets me involved with the local community.

I also began networking as part of my mission to get my self employed business off the ground. Again, this is something I was actively avoiding a year ago.

Even small and simple steps, like going out with a group of people I didn’t know well, or going to a friend’s house for the day was a big mission for me beforehand. Now, I look forward to things like this.

I often sit back and reflect. I sit there and realise that I am doing things that I would never have considered doing before. It upset me too much and made me too anxious.

How I’ve Improved With Time.

It’s easy to fall into a trap in the early days of anxiety thinking that you will never get better. That you will never do certain things again, because it is too much of a strain for you. Thankfully, over time I have improved.

There are still things I feel anxious over and still things I’m not too comfortable with, but my hope is that I continue to improve with time. I urge anyone feeling hopeless, to set themselves small goals that they can achieve. This will boost your confidence bit by bit, allowing yourself to build up to the bigger things.

I Constantly Challenge Myself.

For me, giving into my anxieties is not an option. I constantly challenge myself to push my limits. It’s not easy at times, sometimes I just want to curl up and revert back to saying “No”. But, I know that will get me no where in the long run.

So I set myself challenges, I think of a reward I’d like at the end of it; whether thats a foot rub from my Husband or a chocolate bar. But I reward myself for achieving things that cause me anxieties. I sit through the uncomfortable feelings and I push myself as much as I can do.

Anxiety is a horrid monster that takes over your whole being, if you don’t chip away at it bit by bit. I found that when I don’t push myself and I remain comfortable in my own bubble, the anxiety ends up creeping in and making what I can do at the time seem impossible again, then everything gets worse. Whereas, if I’m brave and take a big breath and chip away at it, I can push my limits and boundaries, experience new things and reduce the anxiety bubble.

Keep Climbing Up That Mountain, It’ll Be Worth It.

Keep Going, It Gets Easier.

If you’re at a point in your life where you feel overwhelmed by the future, by social plans or events, please keep going. Don’t let anxiety win. Life gets easier. It really does, you just have to believe in yourself and your abilities.

Anxiety has a habit of making you feel like you can’t achieve anything. Your self-worth and self-esteem is low and your confidence is at rock bottom. Going shopping or to a friends house may seem like climbing a mountain, bit it won’t always feel like this.

Keep going. Keep pushing yourself that little bit at a time outside of your comfort zone. That is where the growth is.

Even The Bad Days Get Easier.

As time goes on, you will find that although the bad days don’t disappear entirely, the bad days get easier. The bad days also don’t last as long. Where you may be stuck in an anxiety rut at the moment, it won’t always be a rut.

Even that awful feeling of dread lessens as time goes on. Time is a great healer and that is certainly the case here.

My bad days have lessened drastically. I no longer feel the constant Sunday night dread. I just aim to improve myself and challenge myself frequently. Anxiety doesn’t not own me, it is just a dragon I have to aim to take charge of.

Like me, don’t let anxiety hold you back. Keep going. One day you’ll look back and realise you could overcome it. Just take one step at a time.

Read this if you don’t know where to start on tackling anxiety.

If you’d like to know more about my journey with anxiety- start at the beginning.

How To Begin Embracing Your Quirks

Suffering with anxiety, it can be difficult to think positively about yourself. All you notice are things about yourself that you wish you could change, or focus on something negative on yourself that someone once mentioned. You’re then stuck in a loop of low self esteem due to focusing on the negatives. But what if we embraced the quirks that we have?

We Are Often Too Embarrassed To Be Ourselves.

Too often, those with anxiety and depression are too afraid to be themselves through fear of judgement and not feeling good enough. Those that suffer with self esteem issues find themselves embarrassed and afraid to be open and their true selves to the outside world.

We all have unique and individual personalities that we should embrace. But we are fearful of social rejection and being ridiculed, so we hide away the characteristics that make us truly ourself.

How to embrace your quirks.

Start by writing a list of your quirks. I’ll list mine now to show you my example.

  • I have a habit of tapping my feet and wriggling my toes when I’m watching TV.
  • I love getting absorbed into any Ant and Dec programmes.
  • I get a bit soppy at times, so I often get excited at the lead up to Christmas and emotional when Christmas is over. I’m also always worrying and sweating over the small stuff.
  • I write endless lists about everything. I love list making.
  • Wanting things at home to have their own home.
  • My obsession with PJS. I will never own enough.
  • The youth in me still, over things such as unicorns and mermaids.
  • My daft moments. Like when I thought slugs were a poor mans snail, only they didn’t have a ‘house’.
  • Enjoying the small ‘simple’ things in life, like the seasonal menus at Costa, or when I’m A Celeb starts back on TV.

When you’ve got your list, focus on each one of these everyday for the next few weeks. Tell people about it. Embrace each quirk and show the world the real you without fear of embarrassment. It will be difficult to begin with, but over time you will start to feel confidence.

They say with confidence, that you’ve got to fake it till you make it.

Don’t Shy Away From Who You Are

Your individual quirks and personality traits defines who you are. Don’t shy away from who you are.

Your anxiety and depression may make you feel worthless, self conscious and make you question yourself. You may feel embarrassed and have low self esteem, but the only way to build it up is to start to embrace your true self. You have to fake your confidence until you start to believe in yourself.

By writing your list of quirks, focusing on each one everyday, you will start to boost your confidence and be able to embrace your confidence.

By writing your list of quirks, focusing on each one everyday, you will start to boost your confidence and be able to embrace your confidence.

For more helpful articles that can help boost your self esteem and tackle anxiety, try reading 14 Ideas on How to Make Your Spirit Feel Free and Boost Your Self Esteem With This Simple Challenge.

Try The Self Esteem Workbook For Women to help work through ways to boost your self esteem.

This Good Vibes, Good Life book is great at exploring how self-love is the key to unlocking your greatness.

This article may contain affiliate links, if clicked and an item is purchased, it will not cost you anything extra. However, it will mean I get a small bit of commission to help with the running of this blog.

Anxiety, Depression and How They Affect Housework

Anxiety and depression can make the simplest of tasks difficult to manage. In certain circumstances, some people battle with getting out of bed each day. In others, some find themselves cleaning their homes from head to toe each day and have OCD compulsions. Anxiety and depression affect the housework, how often we do it and how we manage it.

If you are going through a really difficult depressive or anxious time, then I would urge to seek help from a professional, such as your GP. If you find that you are in a slump, try these 8 tips on how to get out of it.

Housework Can and Will Wait

When you find yourself going through a particularly difficult time, don’t feel guilty about the housework. It can and will wait for you to get better. The most important thing is to focus on yourself and your mental health and wellbeing.

Seek professional help and focus on getting yourself better first. When you feel that you are able to tackle more each day, start off slow. Bring in the troops without embarrassment or guilt too. See if you have some friends or family there to help with elements. If someone offers, than accept it. It’s not shameful to accept help, it’s likely that if you were feeling yourself, that you would also offer help to those that needed it.

Don’t take on too much too soon. We don’t need to Marie Kondo our house straight away, but even just keeping on top of the dishes and kitchen side will help. Eventually, you can build up to creating a cleaning schedule.

Anxiety, Depression and How They Affect Housework

Cleaning Schedules Work Wonders

The best way to organise cleaning and keeping on top of housework, would be to create a cleaning schedule. You could do it to fit your current lifestyle and responsibilities. For example, if you work long hours on certain days, try to schedule your cleaning for your days off.

I follow The Organised Mum Method, which is a great method of keeping on top of cleaning. Team TOMM splits the housework into 2 levels; level 1 are basic jobs that just need to be done quickly (spending no more than 15 minutes) such as making beds, or making sure floors are clean and level 2 jobs. Level 2 jobs are to take no more than half an hour and are divided into rooms depending on the day, so for example, Monday is living room day.

Then there is a Friday focus where you get to spend half an hour on a Friday doing a deeper clean on a room and this works on an 8 week rotation. So for example, if it was on the bedroom, you could have a clear out of your wardrobe. Her website explains things in great detail, and her book is available on Amazon. It is the best, most manageable cleaning schedule I have come across.

If You Find Yourself Cleaning Too Much, Stop!

It’s easy when you are struggling to throw your energies into activities in a bid to cover up your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes people with anxiety and depression can develop OCD tendencies and want their home to be clean and tidy constantly, or they may feel stressed if it isn’t.

Instead of cleaning constantly, try putting your energies into some self-care or a hobby instead. Take up running, baking, cycling, cooking, sewing or any type of crafts. You will find yourself feeling accomplished without the smell of bleach permanently etched in your nostrils. By adopting a cleaning schedule, you can still keep on top of what needs doing, but without over doing it.

If You Find Yourself Cleaning Too Much, Stop!

Hiring A Cleaner.

At times things can just simply get too much. Then the thought of becoming behind on the housework can make you feel even worse, especially when you have a family. If it is an option, a good alternative to battling against the scrubbing, is to hire a cleaner. Obviously, this isn’t an option for everyone.

Even if you hired one for 2 hours every fortnight, they can help do the deeper bits which you may find difficult to get on top of. There is nothing wrong in reaching out for help in any situation. So if the housework is getting on top of you and you want to focus on your recovery, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the constant list of jobs; then see if you can pass this job onto a cleaner.

Hinch Yourself Happy is a best selling book by Mrs Hinch. Mrs Hinch was known for struggling with anxiety before she found cleaning became therapeutic for her.

If you are struggling to clean and keep on top of the housework, remember that the most important thing is you’re recovery and boosting your mental health. The housework can and will wait. However, when you are feeling more on top of everything, try a cleaning schedule- but remember not to end up cleaning too much. As a final note, if you can afford a cleaner, even if it’s fortnightly, try delegating this life chore so you can spend more time on self care!

If you’re unsure of how to begin tackling anxiety, check out my blog post here.

This blog post may contain affiliate links. If opened and you order anything, it will not cost you anything extra, however I will receive a small commission which helps with the running of this blog. Thank you for your continued support.

What Makes You Laugh? Why You Need To Be Laughing Every Day!

Laughter is a hugely underrated activity. A lot of us may do this often, but often a lot of us lose the ability to laugh when mental health issues are weighing down on us. At times, anxiety and depression can leave you gasping for air, let alone expelling excess air in a belly roaring laugh. So, what makes you laugh? And why is it important to try and do this each and everyday?

We All Have Different Laughter Triggers.

We all find different things funny. Write a list of your laughter triggers. Here’s mine:

  • My amazing boys. My children often do or say hilarious things.
  • Ant and Dec. Two of the funniest people to grace my TV presence. I love watching I’m a Celeb and Saturday Night Takeaway.
  • Toilet Humour. Yes, I still have toilet humour.
  • You’ve Been Framed. A TV classic!
  • My family. These are the people that make me laugh the most.
  • Friends. I love having a laughing fit with a friend.
  • Old memories. A trip down memory lane, focusing on the funny moments that reel off in my brain, like real life clips that belong on You’ve Been Framed, always does the trick.
  • Being stupidly tired. Does anyone else get to that tired giggly state?

Friends is the ultimate TV show that makes me laugh.

Try a funny book- Very British Problems has great reviews!

Surround Yourself With The Right People.

People that spark joy and laughter are the best people to be around. Life is too short to be around those that are only interested in idle gossip and drama.

Make sure your circle of friends are the type that aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves and the ones that you often smile and laugh around. If they’re not, make sure you are finding company that loves a giggle too!

If you’re unsure of your friendships- read my blog post on how to tell if your friendships are healthy.

Laugh Each and Every Day.

It’s important to make laughter part of your every day life. Laughter releases happy endorphins, whilst reducing the levels of stress hormones such as cortisol and dopamine.

It provides a positive release of emotions, leaving you lighter and happier. It is good for you. But we, as adults, don’t do it enough.

Children laugh over 400 times a day, where as us adults laugh a lot less. Yet, we are the ones that need it the most. Try to find the laughter and humour in every day life. Look at your list, make sure you’re fitting one of these activities into your life each day.

Maybe it’s going on YouTube to watch funny videos? Or going for a drink with a friend?

Laughter connects us all, it takes away from the stresses and strains of every day life and gives us a work out with our stomach muscles! Get more laughter in your life.

You need to be laughing each and every day!

When Was The Last Time You Laughed?

If it wasn’t today, then make it your mission to have a laugh at something today! Try something from your list of laughter triggers, or go on YouTube to find a funny video compilation. Allow yourself time each and everyday to have a giggle.

Soon, you will feel the benefits of this simple, yet effective, human response.

You could also check out my blog post and get some ideas on how to boost your happiness.

What is a laughter trigger for you? Pop a comment below, I would love to hear from you.

This blog post may contain affiliate links. If you click on these and you order an item, you will not be charged extra, however I will get a small commission to help with the running of this blog. Thank you.

The Friendship Timeline Theory That Changed My Attitude.

As I have mentioned in a previous blog post, when I explained the game of ‘Friendship Tennis’ I went through counselling with my local NHS mental health service. I knew I needed to seek a little guidance and help to boost myself and get me out of the dark hole I had found myself in. This was when I found out about the friendship timeline theory that changed my attitude.

One of the reassuring themes that we discussed was my overwhelming habit of feeling negative about myself and not feeling good enough.

Friendships were the reason I felt bad about myself.

Or so I thought, anyway. But I felt bad about myself because I wasn’t investing in myself enough. Thankfully, with my counsellor, I began working on my self-esteem and building it back up by doing things for myself.

Building up my self esteem is ultimately what made me feel better about myself, my life and those in it. More of that another time! If you need to boost your self esteem- this book on Amazon is amazing.

At the time though, I was always dwelling on the past. It’s an extremely common thing to do when you have anxieties. In particular, I was dwelling on those that had left my life. I was constantly blaming myself for the friendships that had departed. I was constantly questioning what was wrong with me.

It all changed when I learnt about timelines and friendships.

I once questioned my counsellor on why people leave. It was then that he gave me advice that I have taken away and never forgotten. It has completely changed my view on life and friendships. I will explain the theory below.

In life, we have a timeline. This runs linear. But what if our friendships don’t run linear? Also, imagine all of the hundreds of people that will cross our path in life. Do we really imagine that we can carry them forwards, for the rest of our lives along side us?

Friendships can’t last the entirety of our lives. There are far too many people to meet, that will weave in and out of our lives. Friendships also don’t have to run in a straight line. Some friendships come and go and come back at a later date again. Some come and then go, on with their own pathway in life.

Some friends are for a season, a reason or a lifetime.

This is a well known saying that I have heard hundreds of time. But now more than ever it makes sense. Not everyone can always be a part of your life. Some are there for a season. Some suit your current lifestyle and situation, but will not always. For example, I had a lovely group of friends at university but I haven’t remained in touch with all of them. But the ones I have, are extremely special to me.

Some people are there for a reason. They could be there to teach you something, show you want you don’t want in a friendship, or teach you about yourself. For example, a recent friend of mine I thought the absolute world of, however, after some time she became distant and then just stopped talking altogether and went on her own way. I was so upset when it initially happened, but I learnt a lot from the friendship.

I learnt not to afraid to be myself, not to cover up the good things in my life just to stop a friend getting envious. I also learnt a big lesson- if someone is talking negatively about friends of theirs, there is a good chance that is how they speak about you too. That is something I watch out for now.

Then there are lifetime friends.

Life time friends are the one that stick around for the long haul. However, this doesn’t mean that they don’t weave in and out of your life. My best friend and I have been through times where we’ve been so close, then haven’t spoken as we’ve both been busy with our own lives, seeing each other all of the time to now catching up where we can. But because she is a lifetime friend, I know she’s there if I need her.

You can go weeks, months, even years not talking to these lifetime friends. When you do eventually talk, it feels like no time has past. So just because a friend is being distant with you now, if they are meant to be in your life in the long haul, they will weave in and out.

If you wanted to learn more about friendships, check out this book on Amazon.

Some friends are there for a season, a reason or a lifetime.

The correlation between friends and the effort made.

Another thing that I learnt, is you need to realistically look at how close a friend is currently and expect a certain level of effort based on that.

It doesn’t mean they will always be at that point, but take note for now;

  • If a friend isn’t a close friend, you don’t need to be talking or seeing them regularly at all. They don’t fit into your life as easily as maybe they once did. Make sure you are playing the tennis game. Effort should work both ways, but don’t expect it to be too regular.
  • If they are fairly close, but not a best friend or a daily part of your life, you will speak fairly regularly but don’t have to catch up too often in person.
  • If they are close and fit into your life perfectly at this moment in time, you will probably be speaking most days and meeting up a couple of times a month. These are your close friends for now but who knows where they will be on the friendship line in the future?

I hope that this has helped you to realise that a persons effort should be based on where they’re at in your life. I hope it has shown you that just because a friend isn’t close with you currently, that might just be for now, but in the future you may be closer.

If they have departed and are on their own pathway in life, then wish them well but know that they have served their purpose, season or reason.

Don’t forget- watch out for the toxic friendships and make sure that you are being treated right too.

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14 Ideas on How to Make Your Spirit Feel Free.

Summer time always reminds me of freedom. There is something so mood boosting about the sun shining, warmer weather and the longer days. My children are off school, we are currently not being ruled by the routine of everyday mundane life.

At the time of writing, the last of the summer holidays are looming and soon Autumn will be upon us. It got me thinking- what else makes my spirit feel free? If you are feeling tied down by everyday life, if you are feeling overwhelmed, why not try one of my ideas below and see how you feel after?

14 Ideas on How to Make Your Spirit Feel Free.
  1. A trip to the sea side. Being on the beach, with the sand sprinkling in between my toes and watching the waves crash into the sea; a moment of pure bliss and relaxation. It makes me realise that the World is huge and my problems are small. It makes me feel calm, content. It brings me back to my youth and the many trips to the beach I had. It makes me feel free. Why not take a day off and take a road trip to the beach? Build sandcastles, paddle in the sea and go explore the rock pools.
  2. Singing in the car. I love to sing along to music loudly on a car journey. I’m no good at singing, but it still allows me to feel free. Try it next time you’re in the car- sing loudly without a care in the world. Really feel the music.
  3. Having a lazy day. Having the odd lazy day reminds me how important it is to take time for myself. I never feel like I have time for it, but I do it anyway. It’s important to make time for yourself. I feel the freedom from the chains of the chores. It feels good. Allow yourself a lazy day from time to time and feel free from the everyday routine.
  4. Having a de-clutter. Sometimes I feel like material possessions and clutter can tie us down. So every so often, I love to have a de-clutter and give it away to charity. The home benefits from having a regular declutter, but your mind will too. For anyone wanting an easy and do-able cleaning system- try The Organised Mum Method– it really works!
  5. Reminder of my childhood days. I love to sit in my parent’s garden in a particular spot and look out to the fields that have been the backdrop to my childhood home. It reminds me of my childhood days, its brings me comfort but also it reminds me of how far I’ve come and what I’ve achieved over the years and it boosts my confidence. Is there a place you can go that will remind you of your childhood days?
  6. Playing at the park with my children. I love to head to the local park with my children and watch them play and explore. It’s a beautiful feeling when you’re pushing your child on the swing and watching their face gleefully light up. It’s a stark reminder that playtime doesn’t have to end just because you’re an adult. In fact, now more than ever we should allowing ourselves time each week to have fun. If you have children, make it a habit to visit your local park. If you don’t, find something fun to do with friends like paint balling or going to a mud run with inflatables.
  7. Exploring the woods or a new area. Going on a walk some where new exploring, or delving into the dark woods entwined by the tree branches above, often makes me feel alive. It reminds me that there is so much of this beautiful world that I am yet to explore and see, my children love it too and on the whole it’s just good for the soul. When was the last time you explored somewhere new? Go to the woods this weekend and take a note of all the wildlife around you.
  8. Strange comforts. I have a habit every night of taking my fluffy socks off in bed and then I love feeling the cold and softness of my bedsheets on my skin. To go from the fluffy warmth, to the soft coolness of the sheets is a comfort I get every night. Some may think it’s odd, but to have our own strange comforts- that’s true freedom. Have you got a strange comfort that boosts your mood?
  9. Baking. When, I bake and it is successful, I have such a euphoric feeling. I love to bake, but sometimes it doesn’t always go amazing, so when it does I do feel like I have really achieved something and I absolutely love to have my own hobbies and interests. Have you got a hobby that you enjoy? Why not try baking your favourite cake this week? Try this, Baking with Kim-Joy book here to give you some cute and creative bakes to make you smile.
  10. Being ahead/ on top of jobs. Whenever I am ahead of my job list, or at least on top of them and I am feeling in control, I feel very accomplished and free to then invest my spare time into me. Which is a very freeing feeling. Do you make an effort to make lists? Make sure to make them achievable so that you can feel this way too.
  11. Paddling feet in the paddling pool. This brings me back to childhood days too, so I love to pop my feet in a paddling pool and feel the coolness of the water wash over my toes and ankles. Go for a paddle in the sea or in a paddling pool. Feel the water, really feel it and breathe.
  12. Shopping. I love a bit of retail therapy. It’s not often that I am able to actually do it guilt free, so whenever I do it really does boost my spirits. Go on a little shopping trip and treat yourself to something nice.
  13. Whenever my anxieties leave me alone. Even if it is only for a moment, whenever I feel that I am not anxious in any way at all, that is the ultimate freeing feeling. To not be bound by those negative thoughts and feelings and being filled with self doubt and anxious thoughts. To feel care free, that makes my spirit feel alive. Is there anything you do in particular to keep your anxiety in check? Do it today. To help on the times where you feel in a slump, check out my blog post here.
  14. Drinking with friends. Love and laughter are often two of the most needed things in life. So whenever I am able to catch up with a good friend over a drink, have a light hearted evening and a laugh, it really does make me feel great. Arrange an evening out with your friends to celebrate and drink to life.

On the whole, I do enjoy having my daily and weekly routine. It helps me to keep everything in order, from what I need to be doing for my children and their school life, to what work I need to get done to when’s best to eat and go to bed.

But, from time to time, it is essential to get out of the mundane everyday life. To do something that will boost my spirit and make me feel lightness and freedom.

To read more fun ideas, check out my blog post here on 12 fun ideas to help boost happiness.

I love to explore new places, such as woods and ruins.

What makes your spirit feel free? Is there anything on the list above that you love to do too? Why not give a few a go, or try and complete the list by October and see how you feel.

This article may contain affiliate links. If you click on these and make a purchase, it will not cost you any extra but I will get a small commission from the sale to help with the running of this blog. Thank you.