How to Focus on What You CAN Control

Life has definitely thrown us a curveball. If you’re anything like me, change can be scary and difficult to manage. I hate change, and I always try to resist against it. I know how wrong this is- I have learnt over the years that it’s much better to ride the waves of life.

When you resist change, it’s like fighting for your life against a current, only to get swamped under the weight of the water anyway. When you learn to get up on that surfboard, the changes become easier to go with. It’s all about focusing on what you CAN control. So how do we do this?

Sift through your worries

Start taking control by taming your worries. To do that you need to name them to tame them. Have you ever tried worry time before? If not, I urge you to do this. Check out my blog post on worry time here.

After you have gotten your worries sorted between those you can do something about and the hypothetical ones. You then need to learn to let go of the ones you have no control over. Just let them be. Acknowledge that you’re worried about them but let them drift away.

Instead of worrying about what you can’t control, spend some time planning achievable goals and milestones to tackle the practical worries you do have.

Don’t resist the waves of change

If you resist change, the results are that you won’t stop it, but what you will do is end up being swept away by the current. The change will happen anyway. The popular saying, “go with the flow” hasn’t been passed around lightly. To go with the flow means to ebb and flow with the changes around you, don’t resist them. Embrace them.

Life would be dull in some ways without any changes, and changes certainly give us opportunities for us to grow. Think of all the changes in your past; they led to where you are now, which is exactly where you’re meant to be. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

You just have to trust in the process.

For every change, find room to grow

Instead of resisting change each time, think about the situation you’re in and think of ways in which you can grow from it. How can you adapt to the change? How can you create the silver lining in the new way of your life?

If we stay stagnant, we never grow, we become comfortable. It’s good to grow as a person and learning should never stop.

When looking to what others are doing, there is one thing you MUST remember- you can not control what others do. You can only control your own thoughts and actions. If you disagree with someone’s choices, it’s best to just let them get on with it. We are all on our own pathways so don’t try to change or influence another’s choices. They have to do their own thing. Focus on your own pathway.

Focus on what you CAN control in each and every situation

What CAN you do? Can you ensure that you are taking care of yourself well in terms of eating and exercising? Can you ensure you are having time for yourself to relax and rest? Are you able to talk to a friend or family about your worries?

Think of all the positives and what you can control. That’s all you can do.

Remember that you can only control your own situation and choices too. Don’t punish others for their own moves. Just focus on your own destination.

If you have a friend who doesn’t make any effort- what can you do? You can’t force them to text but what you CAN do is make your effort to them and wait patiently for a reply- focus on something else in the mean time.

You can’t control someone breaking a rule, but you can stick to them.

You can’t control someone else’s rudeness, but you can control your own kindness.

You can’t control someone making a terrible mistake- but you can control making a terrible mistake by voicing an opinion that may hurt them.

It’s time to go with the flow….

I hope that this blog post has given you inspiration to ‘go with the flow’ and stop resisting change. The key is to focus on what you CAN control. Stay strong. You’ve got this.

Why not read my blog post all about the toughest times in my life and how it led me to where I am today? It’s proof that although change can suck, it often shapes our future.