What Goals Should You Set This Year?

January is the start of a brand new book in your life. As the cheesy saying goes, you’ve got 365 pages ahead of you from the 1st January. These pages are the days to your year. It’s a good idea to set out some goals ahead of you. Sometimes New Years Resolutions don’t go according to plan, and that’s ok. I also find that the first few weeks of January you are so busy getting back into the funk of life. But now is a good time to set some goals for the year. What goals should you set this year?

Physical Goals

Perhaps you want to lose weight (I want to highlight here that this should be because you want to, or because of health reasons- not because of society’s pressures) so now is a good time to sit down and plan out a healthy diet plan.

Don’t eliminate “bad” foods altogether. If you don’t treat yourself from time to time then you are more likely to binge on the junk food and this will escalate quickly. Try to plan some treat food into the diet too. This way you’re more likely to stick to it. Also remember this isn’t a quick fix in Jan- plan for the whole 12 months and set yourself mini goals.

Getting more active is also a good idea. If you’re not wanting to sign up to the gym, there are plenty of other free activities you can do. You could try the couch to 5k Running Programme. You could get out on a daily mindful walk, which will not only help you to stay active but help with your mental health too. Or you could do some at home exercises. Perhaps you could sign up to some exercise classes like Zumba or Pilates.

There are plenty of exercise options out there. Exercise is a really great way to boost those endorphins and leave you feeling good. Again, set yourself small goals for the 12 months and build up. If you throw yourself into it too much to begin with, you may end up losing motivation.

Educational Goals

Maybe this year you’d like to study something new? There’s no age limit on learning. In fact I am constantly striving to learn new things all the time and take on smaller online courses to boost my knowledge, especially in my business sector.

However you could study for fun too- there are plenty of colleges that can offer evening classes in thinks like baking, textiles or IT skills. Have a look at what’s on locally to see if you want to increase your knowledge bank.

Personal Goals

Maybe there is a personal goal you’d like to achieve. For me last year, it was to not chase anyone anymore. I did really well with it although there were a few people that I did still make more of an effort with as I knew it wasn’t personal or in their abilities to make the same effort back at times.

Maybe there’s a bad habit you have, or maybe you don’t actually make enough time for yourself to do things that boost your joy or self esteem. For me I struggled with “me time” last year, so this year I want to set aside half an hour a day to do something selfish as such. As I realise how important this actually is.

Work Goals

Are you happy with your current career or job? Nothing needs to hold you back if you are unhappy and want to change direction with work life. Or perhaps you are looking to get a promotion, or a pay rise. Make this year your year to work hard on those work goals.

If it all feels too much at the moment and is overwhelming, break these work goals into smaller chunks. Also don’t forget that money isn’t everything and neither is work. Don’t spend your days grafting away whilst dealing with depression. Often, when we make a big life change, such as a change of jobs, it can be just what we need to help boost our mental health and give us a fresh start in life.

Life Goals

Have you got a bucket list? Maybe now is the ideal time to set yourself a goal to achieve from it. Or if you haven’t got one, why not make one? Now is a perfect time to start living life to the full and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

Or maybe, you just need to sit and review your life. If anxiety and depression has gotten a hold on you, maybe now is a great time to seek help and advice and address the deeper issues. CBT therapy, or counselling is great for working through issues and taking care of yourself.

Are there bigger goals in life that you want to work towards? Such as buying a house, or starting a family? These should only be tackled when the time is right, and naturally aren’t ones that happen easily. But if there are bigger life goals that you would like to accomplish soon, then maybe you could start taking small steps towards them, such as starting a saving plan.

However, if life is difficult at the moment, remember how important it is to take one day at a time. If anxiety is all too much for you right now, here is how you can begin tackling it.

Self- Care Goals

One of my goals for this year is to practise more self-care. Too often I find myself doing lots for others, but not enough for myself. Too often, I run myself into the ground most weeks trying to achieve work goals, and take care of my family. Often, these weeks go without allowing myself the time to recharge and refresh.

This year I am putting a stop to putting myself last. I see now the importance of self-care and how I need to be spending time on myself for everyone’s sake. I can then refresh myself so that I am the best version of myself to achieve everything else I need to day by day.

So, how can you set self-care goals? Maybe there are things you’d like to invest in, like getting your nails done or getting a facial or a massage. Or it could simply be putting 10 minutes aside each day to recharge your batteries. You could take a relaxing bath, read a book or watch a TV series. Make sure that this year you set yourself some self-care goals.

You can see through this post that there are many different goals you can set yourself for the year, and many different ways in which you can achieve them. If life is hard, then set the goal to just take one day at a time. The important thing to remember is that this is your life, and you are in control. But setting goals can be healthy and you get a great sense of accomplishment afterwards. What goals will you be setting this year?

If you’re struggling with the January blues, then read our post here.

Can It Really Be New Year, New Me?

So January is upon us and we are now in the new year stage. A lot of people find this is a great time to start New Years resolutions and make healthy changes in our lives. Some of us actually manage to achieve these, but some of us may give up a few weeks, or if you’re lucky, months into it. Can it really be ‘new year, new me’? Or is this just a phase that everyone goes through in January only to propel ourselves into feeling more miserable when we don’t achieve our New Years resolutions?

New Years Resolutions

How many times have you made a New Years resolution only to see it fail within a few months? Or how many of you see this as a completely fresh start and motivate yourself constantly to keep going?

I have had many a New Years resolution in the past fail. In fact most have. But one year, I made a New Years resolution/ challenge to bake every single recipe in this baking book I loved. I actually did it! I finished in the December and I felt triumph. Only it clashed with the resolution to lose weight. But I still managed to do it as it was doable- it was something I enjoyed.

Break Your Goals Down

So when you make your New Years resolutions, I would make ones that you will actually be able to achieve. If it’s something you know you will eventually hate or resent, don’t set it. You’ll feel disappointed in yourself if you fail but you’ll be setting yourself up for a failure if you don’t set yourself a realistic resolution in the first place.

Like losing weight, a very common one. It’s so generic. You need to be more specific and make it more do able. Perhaps only allow yourself to eat chocolate/ cake etc on a weekend and eliminate these out of your weekly diet. Perhaps say no to sugary drinks but only allow yourself one a week. If you ban yourself completely from something, you may end up rebelling. But if you set a realistic goal and break it down, you will manage it.

Really think about what you want to achieve and set yourself specific doable bite sized goals. This is the best way to accomplish a resolution or goal. My baking one was broken into doing one bake a week, by the end of the year I had to double and sometimes triple this but it helped with the longevity of the challenge.

Breaking Bad Habits

Another element of the New Year is to eliminate bad or toxic habits. In that respect, I find that sometimes someone just needs a bit of a kick to start the new behaviour. In that respect, the new year is a great signal for that. However, it must be noted that it takes years for a behaviour to form; so it can take a while for it to break.

Be patient with yourself. If you slip up a few times, don’t panic and give up entirely. Be kind to yourself, acknowledge the mistake, (which is easily done as your brain has been wired to behave that way or react that way over years) and keep trying.

Is it a new ‘you’ this New Year?

Is it a new ‘you’ this New Year?

So is it really new year, new me?

Well, it can be. If you struggle to ditch bad habits and toxic relationships, then the start of January can be a notable point to seriously think about changing your life. It signals a fresh start, which at times is all we need to kick start new behaviour and motivate us to succeed. 

We are all constantly changing within ourselves and often we are not the same person we were a few years back. So yes, we can see the New Year as a way to start this change. But make sure that it is a positive one. 

Treat yourself and others with kindness, don’t criticise yourself constantly and don’t give up. Find new ways to beat anxiety or depression.

I hope that you all have a wonderful start to 2020 and that if you need it to be a fresh start, that you make it a successful one.

Anxiety, Depression and How They Affect Housework

Anxiety and depression can make the simplest of tasks difficult to manage. In certain circumstances, some people battle with getting out of bed each day. In others, some find themselves cleaning their homes from head to toe each day and have OCD compulsions. Anxiety and depression affect the housework, how often we do it and how we manage it.

If you are going through a really difficult depressive or anxious time, then I would urge to seek help from a professional, such as your GP. If you find that you are in a slump, try these 8 tips on how to get out of it.

Housework Can and Will Wait

When you find yourself going through a particularly difficult time, don’t feel guilty about the housework. It can and will wait for you to get better. The most important thing is to focus on yourself and your mental health and wellbeing.

Seek professional help and focus on getting yourself better first. When you feel that you are able to tackle more each day, start off slow. Bring in the troops without embarrassment or guilt too. See if you have some friends or family there to help with elements. If someone offers, than accept it. It’s not shameful to accept help, it’s likely that if you were feeling yourself, that you would also offer help to those that needed it.

Don’t take on too much too soon. We don’t need to Marie Kondo our house straight away, but even just keeping on top of the dishes and kitchen side will help. Eventually, you can build up to creating a cleaning schedule.

Anxiety, Depression and How They Affect Housework

Cleaning Schedules Work Wonders

The best way to organise cleaning and keeping on top of housework, would be to create a cleaning schedule. You could do it to fit your current lifestyle and responsibilities. For example, if you work long hours on certain days, try to schedule your cleaning for your days off.

I follow The Organised Mum Method, which is a great method of keeping on top of cleaning. Team TOMM splits the housework into 2 levels; level 1 are basic jobs that just need to be done quickly (spending no more than 15 minutes) such as making beds, or making sure floors are clean and level 2 jobs. Level 2 jobs are to take no more than half an hour and are divided into rooms depending on the day, so for example, Monday is living room day.

Then there is a Friday focus where you get to spend half an hour on a Friday doing a deeper clean on a room and this works on an 8 week rotation. So for example, if it was on the bedroom, you could have a clear out of your wardrobe. Her website explains things in great detail, and her book is available on Amazon. It is the best, most manageable cleaning schedule I have come across.

If You Find Yourself Cleaning Too Much, Stop!

It’s easy when you are struggling to throw your energies into activities in a bid to cover up your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes people with anxiety and depression can develop OCD tendencies and want their home to be clean and tidy constantly, or they may feel stressed if it isn’t.

Instead of cleaning constantly, try putting your energies into some self-care or a hobby instead. Take up running, baking, cycling, cooking, sewing or any type of crafts. You will find yourself feeling accomplished without the smell of bleach permanently etched in your nostrils. By adopting a cleaning schedule, you can still keep on top of what needs doing, but without over doing it.

If You Find Yourself Cleaning Too Much, Stop!

Hiring A Cleaner.

At times things can just simply get too much. Then the thought of becoming behind on the housework can make you feel even worse, especially when you have a family. If it is an option, a good alternative to battling against the scrubbing, is to hire a cleaner. Obviously, this isn’t an option for everyone.

Even if you hired one for 2 hours every fortnight, they can help do the deeper bits which you may find difficult to get on top of. There is nothing wrong in reaching out for help in any situation. So if the housework is getting on top of you and you want to focus on your recovery, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the constant list of jobs; then see if you can pass this job onto a cleaner.

Hinch Yourself Happy is a best selling book by Mrs Hinch. Mrs Hinch was known for struggling with anxiety before she found cleaning became therapeutic for her.

If you are struggling to clean and keep on top of the housework, remember that the most important thing is you’re recovery and boosting your mental health. The housework can and will wait. However, when you are feeling more on top of everything, try a cleaning schedule- but remember not to end up cleaning too much. As a final note, if you can afford a cleaner, even if it’s fortnightly, try delegating this life chore so you can spend more time on self care!

If you’re unsure of how to begin tackling anxiety, check out my blog post here.

This blog post may contain affiliate links. If opened and you order anything, it will not cost you anything extra, however I will receive a small commission which helps with the running of this blog. Thank you for your continued support.

What Makes You Laugh? Why You Need To Be Laughing Every Day!

Laughter is a hugely underrated activity. A lot of us may do this often, but often a lot of us lose the ability to laugh when mental health issues are weighing down on us. At times, anxiety and depression can leave you gasping for air, let alone expelling excess air in a belly roaring laugh. So, what makes you laugh? And why is it important to try and do this each and everyday?

We All Have Different Laughter Triggers.

We all find different things funny. Write a list of your laughter triggers. Here’s mine:

  • My amazing boys. My children often do or say hilarious things.
  • Ant and Dec. Two of the funniest people to grace my TV presence. I love watching I’m a Celeb and Saturday Night Takeaway.
  • Toilet Humour. Yes, I still have toilet humour.
  • You’ve Been Framed. A TV classic!
  • My family. These are the people that make me laugh the most.
  • Friends. I love having a laughing fit with a friend.
  • Old memories. A trip down memory lane, focusing on the funny moments that reel off in my brain, like real life clips that belong on You’ve Been Framed, always does the trick.
  • Being stupidly tired. Does anyone else get to that tired giggly state?

Friends is the ultimate TV show that makes me laugh.

Try a funny book- Very British Problems has great reviews!

Surround Yourself With The Right People.

People that spark joy and laughter are the best people to be around. Life is too short to be around those that are only interested in idle gossip and drama.

Make sure your circle of friends are the type that aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves and the ones that you often smile and laugh around. If they’re not, make sure you are finding company that loves a giggle too!

If you’re unsure of your friendships- read my blog post on how to tell if your friendships are healthy.

Laugh Each and Every Day.

It’s important to make laughter part of your every day life. Laughter releases happy endorphins, whilst reducing the levels of stress hormones such as cortisol and dopamine.

It provides a positive release of emotions, leaving you lighter and happier. It is good for you. But we, as adults, don’t do it enough.

Children laugh over 400 times a day, where as us adults laugh a lot less. Yet, we are the ones that need it the most. Try to find the laughter and humour in every day life. Look at your list, make sure you’re fitting one of these activities into your life each day.

Maybe it’s going on YouTube to watch funny videos? Or going for a drink with a friend?

Laughter connects us all, it takes away from the stresses and strains of every day life and gives us a work out with our stomach muscles! Get more laughter in your life.

You need to be laughing each and every day!

When Was The Last Time You Laughed?

If it wasn’t today, then make it your mission to have a laugh at something today! Try something from your list of laughter triggers, or go on YouTube to find a funny video compilation. Allow yourself time each and everyday to have a giggle.

Soon, you will feel the benefits of this simple, yet effective, human response.

You could also check out my blog post and get some ideas on how to boost your happiness.

What is a laughter trigger for you? Pop a comment below, I would love to hear from you.

This blog post may contain affiliate links. If you click on these and you order an item, you will not be charged extra, however I will get a small commission to help with the running of this blog. Thank you.

Us Against Ourselves; Let’s Work Together On This Journey.

I started writing this blog over a year ago now with the intentions of sharing my journey with anxiety. Within that year and a half, I have learnt so much about mental health. It’s been a hell of a journey. But, I feel that there is more I can do.

My Journey With Anxiety

I started suffering with anxiety properly five years ago, but looking back, I can now see that I probably had anxiety tendencies from a young age- I was just labelled a ‘natural worrier’. The five years I have suffered, I have been through the local NHS counselling three times. The last time being within this past year and being the most effective- so firstly, I would recommend CBT therapy to anyone. Through my journey, I remained positive, and hopeful that although I knew there would be no cure, that I could learn to deal with this monster and take control back of my life.

Find out more about Me Against Anxiety here.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have my bad days but I do feel that I am in a much better place than I was five years ago, or even a year ago.

I now write for two mental health charities and I am constantly researching and learning about all things mental health. I am invested in my mental wellbeing and I am determined to keep this positive journey going.

I Want You To Join Me On This Journey

One thing I have learned on this journey, is to be open and talk to people. The more we remain silent, the more the anxiety or depression wins. It leaves us feeling ashamed, alone and hopeless; making our symptoms worse. Talking about it shuts the monster up. It allows us to voice ourselves again. To be ourselves, and not the anxious us. We can speak out, be brave and turn to others for support.

I want you to join me on this journey. I’m no expert- I still have a lot to learn. But why don’t we learn together? With a positive support system. I want a safe place for people to be able to talk about their mental health, to be open and and feel positive that no one will judge you for what you have to say. It can be a place to rant about anxiety and a bad day, but also a place to share positive stories and helpful hints and tips on tackling this.

It will be a place to help boost and lift each other. To help combat anxiety.

Join My Facebook Group; Us Against Anxiety

I have launched a Facebook group called ‘Us Against Ourselves’ so that you can join and have that safe positive online space. There will be challenges and tips for everyone on a regular basis.

You can access the link here.

Soon I will be launching an exciting email course full of handy tips and challenges for you to follow. This will be announced in the group at a later date and on here, of course.

For more help on anxiety- check out how to begin tackling anxiety.

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast is a great book to start with researching anxiety.

Anxiety Rebalance is another book you can purchase to start on a positive journey.

18 Mood Boosting Ideas.

When you feel down, and the weight of your world is weighing on your shoulders heavily, it’s hard to find ways to get out of the slump. I did write a blog post on ways to get out of a slump, but sometimes it’s down to yourself and your own personality, likes and needs that help you.

Have you ever spent time writing a list of the things that bring you joy and cheer you up? I challenge you to do that this week. Make the list look nice, positive and place it somewhere you have easy access to. Then next time you feel low, do something off the list.

What’s on my list? What ideas can you take from this?

  1. Anything Ant and Dec; e.g. Their Youtube channel- watching old videos always cheers me up.
  2. Chocolate; there is nothing more stress busting then chomping down on an indulgent chocolate bar.
  3. Planning occasions through the year such as birthdays and Christmas. I love the way my year flows from family member’s birthdays, to Easter, to Halloween and Christmas- my absolutely favourite time of the year. So, whenever I feel really down I try to count down to one of the next exciting dates and start to plan for it.
  4. Sunshine. Getting out in the sunshine and soaking in the rays is a great way to relax.
  5. A nice walk. I always put this on the list blog posts I do- but really- nothing beats getting out in nature. It’s good for grounding. In particular, a walk on the beach is one of the best walks to do.
  6. A de- cluttered house. I have to be in the mood to do this, but when I have a good clear out and tidy up, I always feel so good afterwards.
  7. Shopping. Bit of retail therapy anyone? I love getting a new outfit that fits nicely and boosts my confidence.
  8. Quality family time. The best people in my life are my family. Whenever I am feeling at my lowest, I know I need to surround myself with their presence. I’m lucky to have a great family unit myself, a supportive husband but also two incredible children who always have me smiling and feeling grateful. There is something so peaceful as well, when it comes to visiting my parent’s home and the house I grew up in. I love to sit in their garden peacefully.
  9. Cuddles. Who doesn’t need a good squeeze from time to time? Whether it’s with a human or a cuddly pet, go get a hug.
  10. Playing games. I grew up with two brothers who are big gamers- they still are. So, naturally I got into this too. I still love to play the odd game and lately we’ve been getting the old Nintendo 64 out and playing with the boys. It is escapism at it’s best. Pokemon has always been a favourite of mine, and I’m not ashamed of admitting that.
  11. Wearing PJs. Whenever I need a bit of comfort, I pop on one of my many PJ sets and snuggle up on the sofa.
  12. Indulging in good TV series. Bingeing on a good TV show on Netflix is one of the best ways to escape ‘real life’ and get absorbed in someone else’s. This never fails to cheer me up. Obviously I have to have balance in my life, so I don’t constantly do this but when you need cheering up- a good show or film will do the trick.
  13. Writing lists. I always write lists to stay organised but I really, sadly, enjoy writing them. There’s something so rewarding in crossing off the tasks I’ve accomplished and see how well I’ve done each day. Writing them is therapeutic too. Sometimes, it’s nice to treat myself to some new stationary too.
  14. Friends. Spending time with friends is important to me. I am so grateful for the friends that pop over for play dates, that go for a coffee, lunch or dinner and drinks. I have a circle of supportive, lovely friends and they mean the world to me. It’s not always been easy- I had to figure out what friendships were healthy. But, once I did, I’ve felt a lot better having a positive circle around me and whenever I need to, I can grab a coffee with a friend to chat.
  15. Upbeat music. I love sticking on a motivational playlist. If I can’t decide on what to listen to, I either listen to music lists from my past, or I choose a popular one off Spotify and they’re always great.
  16. A belly- roaring laugh. It doesn’t matter how you get there- but it’s so important every so often to make sure you have a big laugh. The type that hurts your stomach muscles and gets your eyes watering.
  17. Mindfulness. Studying mindfulness has taught me a lot to do with the brain and how our minds work. I now realise that it’s okay not to be okay. Negative feelings like sadness are normal. We should feel them as much as we feel happiness. Knowing this, makes those sad moments a lot easier.
  18. A good sleep. Since I’ve had children, I appreciate it whenever I get a good decent, full nights sleep. Even if I don’t, any sleep always helps. Whenever I am feeling really anxious or down about something, I try to go to sleep for the night before I react to something. This helps so much. And nothing is ever as bad the next morning.

Looking at the above list, there are quite a few things that cheer me up and I have some great ideas on days where I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m aware that on those days, I probably want to sit and do nothing. There is nothing wrong with having a lazy day, or having a quiet day to myself to focus on resting, but when you’re in a slump, sometimes it’s best to just pick an activity at random and throw yourself into it. You’ll find by the end of it, your mood has lifted. If you still don’t feel boosted, try another couple from the list.

I’ve always let my happiness fall into the hands of others. Looking at the list above, how many do I rely on other people for? 3. Seeing friends, family and having a cuddle- even then a pet can be a replacement. I always thought I had to have others around me to be happy, or for my leisure time to be worthwhile. I was wrong. I need as much time with myself as I need with other people. I know my likes and dislikes and I know what I enjoy doing. So, it’s a great relief to see that actually, there’s over 10 activities I can do alone that will boost my mood.

I urge you as a challenge, to write down your own list of what makes you happy. Aim for 10 and then add to it whenever you think of something new, or even discover something new. Then whenever you need a mood boost, either select one at random or purposefully. Go do it. Indulge in time for yourself and make sure you are doing a handful of these activities EVERY WEEK. It’s amazing what you can squeeze into a few spare minutes of everyday. Instead of meeting up with those that drain you, fill up your own tank with the activities that re-fill you rather than drain you.

Let me know how you get on in the comments below, I would love to hear from you.

This post may contain affiliate links. If clicked and an item is ordered, it will not cost you anymore, however it will give me a small commission to help with the running of this blog.

The Sports Game You Should Be Playing With Your Friends

I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post how I had learnt a lot about friendships and how to tell if they’re healthy or not. I did a lot of soul searching over the past year and I have learnt a lot about friendships. One of the lessons I was taught by someone still stands out like a sore thumb. It’s one I have to remind myself about daily. The lesson is all about playing a certain sports game with your friends, and not a physical game.

What game should you be playing with your friends?

The game that needs to be played requires give and take, back and forth. It’s a tennis game, or any game that requires hitting a ball back and forth equally. Not hogging the ball and tackling like rugby.

The point of playing this game is that everything ends up being fair and equal. For too long I was putting my all into every friendship, always making and effort, and felt like I was chasing a lot. I never knew who was being genuine, who really wanted to talk, to meet up or to have me as an active part of their life and it was exhausting.

I was being drained. I felt like I was sending most messages first, arranging most meet ups and never feeling good enough. I couldn’t keep on going like this, it was taking up so much of my free time and energy and I was never having enough time for myself.

The rules of the game.

I was encouraged by someone I trusted to start playing this game. If I hit the ball out, I had to wait for it to return. By sending ball after ball, I was just draining my energy and resources. They needed to be replenished.

I needed to focus on myself, I also needed to figure out who was worth all this. By following the rules of the game and making sure there was give and take in each friendship, it allowed me to do this.

So, if I text or called a friend, I had to wait for a reply and not repeat the messages- I could only repeat messages and send multiple ones if I knew that I was at a comfortable stage with that friend. So for example, I have a couple of best friends that I’ve known for 18 years almost. We are at a comfortable point in our friendship, so it doesn’t matter if myself, or they send multiple texts.

This needed to be the case when asking a friend to meet up. The effort needed to go both ways.

How tennis changed my outlook.

I realised that I was putting in far more for others than I was getting back. But then, in other friendships I was so thankful that I could see that it was all equal.

It taught me patience. But most of all, it really showed me who my true friends were and that actually, it may have felt like I was doing all the chasing, but this was only in a couple of the friendships. Most of them, thankfully, were give and take. It was nice to get the texts and someone ask to meet up, knowing I hadn’t chased. It felt good. It made me realise that they were decent friends and wanted to talk and catch up.

And the ones that didn’t. Well, it was sad to begin with, but there was only a couple of people that fell through the net, so to speak, and I wasn’t that close with them anyway. I was done chasing, I was done draining myself.

Now whenever I am having a conversation, a catch up, I know that it is mutually wanted. Don’t get me wrong, there are still days when I feel like I’ve chased a bit, but I remind myself of the tennis game. I remind myself that if I was the one to throw the ball back, they must return it. Sometimes it takes a while, sometimes I take a while back. But it should always be left to them if the ball is in their court. Sometimes people take a step away from the court to have a break, that’s absolutely fine, then they return full of energy. Sometimes, they get fed up with the game. And they step away.

That’s difficult. Maybe they will return one day, maybe they won’t. But if the ball was last in their court, that is entirely up to them. You have done your all. Let it be.

I encourage you to play tennis with your friends.

You will then see who is worth all of that effort, who is worthy of your time and who isn’t. Your friendships become healthier, boundaries are built and self respect is learnt. What advice would you give a friend that’s doing all the running? Give yourself the same advice- play tennis and you will see healthier friendships form rather than focusing on the one sided ones.

What will be will be. And those that are meant to be in your life, will always hit that ball back, even if it takes a while sometimes.

Here are some quotes that help with my anxiety.

Rescue Remedy is great help in high anxiety situations.

Try and do this for the next month and see how you get on. Leave a comment below as I would love to hear your experience.

This blog post contains affiliate links. If you click on these links and purchase an item, it will not cost you anymore, but I will get a small commission which helps to pay for the running of this blog.

Boost Your Self Esteem With This Simple Challenge.

When you suffer with a mental health illness, such as depression or anxiety, it is easy to think negatively all of the time. This then overspills into how we feel about ourselves. When I was at the height of my suffering with anxiety, I would always think badly of myself. I thought I was a failure, I felt useless, unworthy. I didn’t think people liked or wanted me. I didn’t feel good enough. At anything. I would be negative about everything situation I would encounter, I’d worry something would always go wrong.

Changing your mindset.

The most important thing to do in this situation is to change your mindset. Which is easier said than done. But, once you start to do it, it becomes easier and it transfers to other areas of your mind. Your thinking patterns slowly then change from negative to positive. How can you do this?

I wrote in a previous blog post; one small thing you can do each day to help your anxiety. It was about writing something positive, or a couple of positive things that had happened that day. I challenged you to do this everyday for a week. If you missed this challenge, then go and do it for the next 7 days and see how you feel at the end of it. I would then recommend doing this for a month to see how you feel. You will soon find that you pick up on the small things in the everyday and you will begin to feel lighter, the days will be filled with more joy.

Getting yourself a Health and Wellbeing Journal will help you to keep track of these challenges and see how much you have grown and improved.

Try this challenge to boost your self-esteem.

Well, I have another challenge for you now. This one is all about self-reflection. I want you to grab a pen and paper, or your laptop, or notes on your phone and write a list. I want you to fill this list with qualities you like about yourself. It could be to do with your personality, something you’re good at, your values or morals. Start writing 4. Then tomorrow add 2 more. And so on. Aim to get to 25 within a month. Then see how you feel about yourself. Soon you will find that not only do your days feel lighter, but you start to feel better about yourself.

You will realise, like me, that you’re not worthless. You’re liked. You’re wanted. You’re you and you are unique. Someone’s qualities will be entirely different to your own, and not because you are different, but because what you value as a quality will be different. Start to believe in yourself, start to build up your own self esteem based on what you value. It’s a small challenge that could well start to change your thinking patterns from negative to positive. Believe in yourself. Let me know how you get on. I’ve listed what I believe are my qualities below. I’d love to see how you get on with this challenge so do pop a comment in the comment box, or send a message on the Facebook account when you’ve done.

A list of my qualities.

  • Kind
  • Grateful
  • Good listener
  • Always make an effort
  • Caring
  • Empathetic
  • Enjoy the little things
  • Open
  • Honest
  • Organised
  • Thoughtful/ Considerate
  • Simple- Minded
  • Good humour
  • Chatty
  • Motivated
  • Clean/ tidy
  • Good baker
  • Loving/ Warm heart
  • Sensitive
  • Traditionalist
  • Cosy/ Welcoming
  • Brave
  • Strong
  • Quirky
  • Selfless

What you can do next.

Now that you have written a list on your qualities, you need to maintain this self belief and keep topping up and boosting your self esteem. Take one word a day for the next month and focus on that word. Note down anytime you do something that is related; so for example…. I believe that I am a good baker. So for one day, I will bake my family a treat, I will hopefully hear how they loved it and I will enjoy the process, taste and result of this bake. It will reinforce my belief that I am a good baker. Another day, I will focus on the word ‘Loving’, for that day, I will note down moments where I am loving. Whether that’s being supportive of my family, friends or giving lots of cuddles to my children. This will reinforce that belief that I have a loving quality.

All of this reinforcement will result in a higher self esteem and I will gain more self worth. Therefore, reducing the symptoms of anxiety and depression and boosting my overall mental health and wellbeing.

If you want to work more on your self-esteem, I highly recommend this book; ‘Overcoming Low-Self Esteem‘.

Overcoming anxiety and depression.

Overcoming anxiety and depression is a long journey, but you can and will beat this. No matter what mental health illness you are struggling with, give this challenge a go and see how you feel in a months time. Don’t forget to give the previous challenge a go too. Keep following this blog for further tips and help on dealing with this terrible disease and for more self help. Also, follow us on Facebook and Twitter (Links are above) as I post more regularly to those. Let me know how you got on with the challenges in the comment box.

If you need to start tackling anxiety, then check out my post on how to begin tacking anxiety.

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