My 8 Favourite Quotes and How They Help My Anxiety

From time to time, I come across motivational quotes. I usually see them on social media platforms, such as Facebook, Pinterest or Instagram. It’s amazing what an inspirational quote can do for the soul. Especially when one really stands out, you realise that you’re not alone in how you feel.
So what quotes really resonate with me? What feeds my soul and helps with my anxiety?
  1. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened- Dr Suess. I think this ones really important, it ties in with mindfulness quite well too- during our life we will experience so many different things, some will make us happy and some will make us sad. But say something happy happens like an amazing friendship or relationship or job; when that’s over does that mean it wasn’t a happy thing? No…. so we should be thankful for the past and present. It’s easy to cry because something good has past, but we should smile because we were that lucky to begin with and we should then focus on the future.
  2. Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind- Bernard M Banich. I’m always trying to please people and with anxiety comes a certain form of social anxiety. This can be really difficult to handle at times but quotes like this one do make me realise; whatever I say to my friends and family, they shouldn’t mind and will support me whatever the weather. But if people are finding me annoying/ irritating etc then those are the people who shouldn’t matter to me! If people are going to be negative and drag you down or make you feel embarrassed or bad then they shouldn’t be in your life anyway.
  3. Dance like nobody’s watching, love like you’ve never been hurt, sing like no ones listening and live like it’s heaven on Earth- William W Purkey. I think we need to find more joy in the everyday life so I love this quote because we should be doing exactly what it says! Living a more mindful and joyous life to help cast away negativity and anxiety.
  4. You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams- Dr Suess. I love this, I think I first read this quote when I was falling in love with my husband and it is so true! Two children later and we love our sleep, but I also love our life that we’ve built together.
  5. Be the change that you wish to see in the world- Ghandi. It’s easy to blame the harshness on the World on others. But for me, I want to see more kinds in this World, but in order to see it more, we need to lead the way. By being kinder ourselves, I believe we initiate a change in our lives. We welcome change then and encourage it. We can’t be ignorant and continue to be selfish, we must be kinder ourselves if that’s the World we want to live in.
  6. In 3 words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life; it goes on- Robert Frost. This is a huge one for me. Anxiety can be so consuming and scary. It can be terrifying and when you’re going through a particular difficult patch, all hope can feel lost. So, when I see this quote I realise that everything I’ve endured, I have overcome and regardless of what rubbish situation I have been through in the past, life has always just gone on and things get a little easier each day.
  7. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one bit yourself and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together- Marilyn Monroe. Again, when you’re in the midst of an anxiety meltdown, this quote has always helped to make me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Also, when I look back at particular parts of my past, I can actually think more clearly and realise that things did happen that way for a reason and usually at the end of the situation, I can see the reason. Don’t get me wrong, it’s frustrating when the reason is unknown or unclear yet and certainly thats when anxiety feels at it’s worse- because it’s the fear of the unknown that gets me. On the whole though, I do whole heartily agree with this quote and I have to remember it when I am feeling particularly anxious or upset about anything.
  8. You have to let people go. Everyone who’s in your life are meant to be in your journey, but not all of them are meant to stay till the end- Unknown. There are so many similar quotes out there to this one. I think a lot of the time I do feel quite anxious about my social life. I always get scared of losing friends and social media certainly doesn’t help. But, when I read quotes like this I realise that I have to let go and let what’s meant to be, be. Worrying or trying to control the situation does nothing and neither does beating myself up about it when a friend and I go our separate ways; as stated, it’s totally normal for this to happen. I just need to learn to let go.

Quotes can be a fantastic way of making sense of the world. It’s someone else’s pearls of wisdom written into lovely little statements that can be passed on from person to person and now we are able to access a huge world wide web full of them. OK, it’s good not to take them too seriously but they are great for a bit of mindful inspiration and I have found them fantastic for helping with my anxiety and making sense of the devil on my shoulder. For more ways of handling an anxiety flare up, check out this post. 

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Why not pop a comment below and let me know what you think? And also don’t forget to sign up or follow me on my Facebook to join me on my journey of tackling the mental health stigma and helping ourselves and others in the process.

 

How to Begin Tackling Anxiety

Anxiety is scary. It is terrifying. It can easily begin to take over your life through your thoughts, feeding on your fears and stopping you from going where you want to go in life, even if it is just into town to meet a friend. It makes you question your life, yourself and everything else. It leaves your mind curled up in a never ending tangle of thoughts, what ifs and whys. Before 4 years ago, I had never experienced anything like it. And those first couple of years of suffering with it were overwhelming and I felt like I had no control over anything. It was the most frustrating thing, being young and wanting to get on and do things with my life but fearing what would happen each time I even tried something new or even something old at times. I was ridden with worry. So how did I begin to tackle it?

I have already written a few posts about my anxiety, from Me Against Anxiety to How To Cope When Anxiety Flares Up.

In this post, I want to show you how I started to tackle the dreaded monster that sits on my shoulder, whispering to me why I can’t achieve something and telling me all of the possible ways an event could go wrong.

You see, there’s something anxiety hates. Something that a lot of people don’t realise. It’s something fairly simple. But it can make a huge difference. Anxiety hates it because it diffuses it’s power over you.

It’s like putting a glass over a giant spider. The spider’s still there, but somehow it’s easier to deal with beneath the glass. It’s a little less daunting.

So what is it? How can you begin to tackle the anxiety that you have been living with?

By talking.

It sounds daft. You talk all the time right?! Maybe you do even talk about the things that worry you. But I mean really talk about it.

I have seen so many terrible news reports on suicides this year. It breaks my heart that these people felt that they had no where else to turn, no one else to talk to. That this was their only answer. Why is mental health still not talked about enough? Perhaps people are afraid of what others will think, that they have to put on a show and a brave face. I’m saying we need to talk about it more. Don’t be afraid.

Honestly, I think if more people talk about it, soon we will realise that some of those crazy irrational fears we think we have turn out to be normal worries that a lot of people are thinking in their head but are too afraid to say it.

Let’s be open.

I used to hide my anxiety. I had a couple of friends that didn’t, and still don’t quite understand how I feel. They don’t realise the huge impact this can have on someone’s life. Yes, I have pushed myself and I have worked hard on battling it and getting somewhat better, but I still suffer. But the difference is, whether people understand or not, I talk. It is horrible when a friend doesn’t understand, but I realise now that that’s more of a flaw on them and their kindness then it is a flaw of mine.

If you speak to people more openly about anxiety, it takes anxiety’s power away. It’s no longer that secret monster on your shoulder whispering hurtful and frightening things. It’s an exposed monster. One that crumbles when it sees the light of day.

Whether it’s a friend or a family member, Samaritans or your doctor. Please just talk. Tell them how you feel, how you’re struggling and you will soon begin to see the anxiety monster get smaller and smaller and easier to deal with.

I’ve met some incredible new people lately… mostly Mums as we arrange play dates. All of them know I suffer with anxiety. I told them. I didn’t ‘bang on’ about it, but I did openly confess that it’s something I suffer with and that at times I get nervous and overwhelmed. Turns out, they’ve been through similar. Now I don’t need to mention it unless I feel the need, because by exposing it, I felt more comfortable. And now I can enjoy these lovely people’s company knowing that anxiety isn’t there- being my dirty secret. It’s exposed, and these people seem genuinely caring and understanding. I felt better for telling them.

We need to raise awareness. 

It’s surprising how common anxiety is. And I truly believe that the more we can talk about it to friends, family and our partners; the more we can tackle this together and raise awareness for mental health so that it becomes far less of a problem in our lives.

If you feel that you have no one to turn to, then please reach out to your doctor, or phone the Samaritans. No one is going to judge you for this. And no one should ever feel ashamed or embarrassed. Mental health affects so many people throughout their lives. It does not make us any less of an amazing human being. It just means that sometimes our brains get tired and need a little help, whether that’s as simple as talking to someone, or something more. We should do what we can to look after ourselves.

After all, a lot of people will talk about their physical pain- from migraines, to back pain, arthritis to tooth pain. Our mental health is just as important, if not more important than our physical health. So, we should just as openly talk about when we are feeling depressed, overwhelmed, scared or ridden with anxiety.

I still suffer with anxiety. Some days are worse than others. Some days I still feel alone, even when I know I should talk to someone. I feel like a burden. But then I realise that if a friend or anybody came to me saying they were suffering, I would want to help. There is too much sadness and suicide in the World. We need to talk and to listen. We need to raise awareness. Ask anyone you know, “Are you ok?” and listen, and don’t say their worries are silly. Because to them they are a mountain, even if it is a mole hill. With time, and your help, they will tackle that mountain until it becomes more manageable. So, I talk. I talk and I blurt it out, without worrying about judgement because I know how important it is to talk. And my goodness, does it feel better afterwards. So yes, I struggle at times still, but now I struggle with people around to help me. Or I struggle alongside someone else. But knowing you are not alone, is amazing.

Check out resources. 

There are some fantastic groups online for mental health too, check your local Facebook groups. Talk to people that are in the same boat. It really does make all the difference. There is hope for us all- we can do this. But please please, begin tackling anxiety by talking about it.

Follow my blog on Facebook to see some positive, motivational and honest open posts from time to time (link above). And please do comment and follow the blog to join me on a journey of tackling mental health.

You can call the Samaritans 24/7 on 116 123. This phone number is free to call. 

Visit Mind for more resources and information on mental health.  

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My 10 Year Plan And How It Helps Fight Anxiety

Whilst I’ve suffered with anxiety over the past 4 years, I have struggled to think of my future and what that would entail. I think anxiety feeds of the fear of the unknown and the future certainly seems like this big scary unknown monster that’s lurking in the depths of the darkness ahead. Behind is light, even though I know there have been struggles, I’ve overcome them. And currently I’m stood in sticky mud. It’s hard to trudge forward to take a glimpse of this monster. It’s hard to think about whether, actually, this monster could turn out to be more like Mike from Monsters Inc rather than a creature from Eight Legged Freaks.
So, last year, I wrote a list. I wrote a list about what I want I want my future to look like in 10 years time. I haven’t looked back at that list but today I thought I’d take a glimpse and share it with you. This is what I would like my life to look like in 10 years;
  1. Happy. Genuinely happy. Not chasing the idea of happiness or what I think it will take to be happy, but just feeling happiness on a daily basis. Being mindful to the point where the simple things create smiles on my face and laughter in my soul. Not faking it and not trying to say once something else is achieved then I’ll be happy. I just want to feel happiness.
  2. My anxieties will be under control. By being under control, I will be able to achieve so much socially and professionally in my life instead of living in constant worry and fear.
  3. The boys will be healthy and happy teenagers. My children are my everything. I hope that at this point in their life, where adulthood is impending, that they can confide in me. I want to be a constructive parent but also their best friend. I want to have so much fun with them.
  4. I will own my own house. I’d love for the house to have character and style. I can not wait to say that I am a home owner. It seems so far off but I would love it that in 10 years it could become possible.
  5. I’ll have achieved my dream job; I will be working from home as a writer. Again, something that feels so far off but I will work so hard to make come true.
  6. My family will still mean the world to me. I am an Aunty now and I would love it that my boys and my nephew grow up close and become amazing friends.
  7. Friendship worries won’t concern me as much. I hope that I will have a better ability of letting friendships come and go in my life. I hope that I will still have some quality friendships. But I also hope that I start to enjoy my own company more and that I don’t seek happiness from seeing friends frequently and that I am able to see them as often as needed.
  8. I’ll be driving and have my own car. Right now we don’t have a second car but I hope one day we are able to afford one and that I have the confidence to run it around.
  9. My sense of style will have improved. I am always envious of how others dress but I let my self confidence get in the way with trying new styles and outfits. One day I hope I can fake the confidence long enough to start believing it so that I can start to dress better. And to enjoy it.
  10. I will have a healthy weight. I worry that all of my life I will be battling with losing weight, currently I am on a mission to lose almost 2 stone. I hope that I am successful and that I can keep it off and maintain a healthy weight. But I hope that I have body confidence anyway.
  11. I will have a pet cat, or 2. My boys and myself would love to have a pet cat, let’s hope it happens sometime!
  12. I won’t be lonely. I fear loneliness but I hope that in 10 years that I will be surrounded by family and a few good friends.
By planning the future, I believe that I give myself the hope I need. Everyone needs hope. Sometimes I get stuck in my life rut and I’m so afraid of the future but by positively imagining how it could be, it gives me that hope, to keep going, to keep battling this anxiety until I finally beat it and have control over it. Let’s hope my 10 years goals and dreams come true.
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What are your goals for 10 years time? Do you find picturing the future helps with anxiety? Or do you rather take life as it comes? Pop a comment below, I would love to hear from you.

How To Cope When Anxiety Flares Up

Recently I had a really bad anxiety flare up. I’m not exactly sure what caused it. One day I was feeling fine and chipper, the next day not so much. And the more I thought about my life the more I kept hating it. One thing led to another and suddenly I just cried and felt awful.

This can last a few days at a time. I will suddenly worry about everything and anything. I sound so silly and ridiculous when I am in this anxious state. My worries aren’t justified as such. It’s only when I address some of these anxious thoughts with my husband that I realise that I might be just over thinking things. A tad.

It’s frustrating when this anxious state lasts for days, it’s horrible and it’s so hard to snap out of it. People will tell me not to worry, to relax. I’ll be told to take time out for myself and to not think about things. None of this helps.

So when this happens what do I do to resolve it?

First, I have to accept how I am feeling. I have to accept it as being totally natural. For whatever reason, whether it’s just who I am, how my brain works, my hormones or my thyroids fault- I suffer with anxiety. It’s nothing for me to be ashamed of and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with me. It just means that on and off throughout the rest of my life, I will have anxious moods and thoughts. I have anxiety but anxiety is not me. Anxiety is such a common thing to suffer with. So when I go through these phases, I have to accept them and try not to fight them anymore.

Once I’ve accepted it for what it is, once I’ve accepted that I will be in a mood, a mood that doesn’t allow me to concentrate on much other than the gazzillion thoughts and stresses that flood my mind in these days, a mood that leaves me short and snappy with those I love…. once I accept it, I can then begin to change it.

One tactic that I read about- was something called worry time. This would basically mean that throughout the day, anything that worries or bothers me- I should write briefly on a piece of paper. That way I acknowledge it but I don’t let myself dwell on it right then… I then allow myself worry time that evening for a short specific time. I set a timer and then I look at the paper with all of the worries on. Some of the worries by this point may have already resolved themselves. But those that haven’t, I will then work through in a more logical way bit by bit. This always helps. I always find writing my worries down anyway helps. Even when I brain storm it.

Once this has happened, I feel a weight come off my shoulders and I can start to concentrate on feeling more mindful and less stressed. Any worries that need actions and steps, I will then try and work through the steps.

After I have allowed myself to write my worries down, distractions help. I have a couple of hobbies; nail art, baking, cross stitch and sewing. I also enjoy going for walks and playing games on my phone. So whenever I really can’t shift my mood, I need escapism. For some reason, TV is harder for me to escape to as I still end up distracted by my worries…. unless it is a TV series that I can indulge in and obsess over. So I escape using the other hobbies above. And it just helps to distract my brain and bring me to the present.

Another way I can help my mood is by talking about it. Even when you feel there is no one there to listen, there will be. And even if you feel silly, it’s important to confide in people and open up about it. Otherwise your worries and thoughts will consume you and you will end up feeling lonely. At times I’ve even managed to laugh off some of my stresses with my family or husband.

Rest is also important. It doesn’t matter if I fall behind on jobs or housework, I’m important and so I have to look after myself. So if I need time to rest and absorb myself then that is fine. Normality will resume soon enough.

Be patient. Anxiety is tough. Really tough. And like they say all good things come to those who wait. So that’s what I have to do when I feel so rubbish with my anxiety. I wait for the better days.

Ask yourself, is there a recurrent theme to what you worry about? If you find yourself dwelling on the same matter most of the time, then perhaps you need to delve into it deeper. Allow one of your worry times to explore the problem or matter more. If it is something you can take steps for, is there a book you can take out at the library to help with the issue? I read the DARE book and it helped me so much. I learnt a lot about anxiety and the patterns of brain behaviour. Maybe do some research into the matter if there is something that keeps reoccurring in your life. If it is something you encounter a lot, is there a way you can eliminate it from your life?

Those are just 6 steps I take to help bring me out of a high anxiety mood. Most of the time within a few hours to a couple of days I am feeling much more myself. There are definitely ways you can help yourself during these moods though and to be honest, I am still learning about some new ideas. I know friends of mine try some of the following; yoga, jogging, swimming, exercise in general, writing a journal, phoning the Samaritans, going to CBT sessions. There are so many ideas out there that it’s great to explore and find something new that can help.

It doesn’t matter if life has to go on hold for a little while whilst you help yourself to feel better and happier. You need to look after number one. Don’t let anxiety consume you. Anxiety can be a pain in the arse, but sometimes all you need is to put in some great coping mechanisms and that is what I am trying to improve on and do constantly.

Do you have any strategies? I would love to hear how you cope during an anxiety flare up. Please do get in touch or comment below, I would love to hear from you. Don’t forget to follow my Facebook. My social media links are above.

Thank you for reading.

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