What Goals Should You Set This Year?

January is the start of a brand new book in your life. As the cheesy saying goes, you’ve got 365 pages ahead of you from the 1st January. These pages are the days to your year. It’s a good idea to set out some goals ahead of you. Sometimes New Years Resolutions don’t go according to plan, and that’s ok. I also find that the first few weeks of January you are so busy getting back into the funk of life. But now is a good time to set some goals for the year. What goals should you set this year?

Physical Goals

Perhaps you want to lose weight (I want to highlight here that this should be because you want to, or because of health reasons- not because of society’s pressures) so now is a good time to sit down and plan out a healthy diet plan.

Don’t eliminate “bad” foods altogether. If you don’t treat yourself from time to time then you are more likely to binge on the junk food and this will escalate quickly. Try to plan some treat food into the diet too. This way you’re more likely to stick to it. Also remember this isn’t a quick fix in Jan- plan for the whole 12 months and set yourself mini goals.

Getting more active is also a good idea. If you’re not wanting to sign up to the gym, there are plenty of other free activities you can do. You could try the couch to 5k Running Programme. You could get out on a daily mindful walk, which will not only help you to stay active but help with your mental health too. Or you could do some at home exercises. Perhaps you could sign up to some exercise classes like Zumba or Pilates.

There are plenty of exercise options out there. Exercise is a really great way to boost those endorphins and leave you feeling good. Again, set yourself small goals for the 12 months and build up. If you throw yourself into it too much to begin with, you may end up losing motivation.

Educational Goals

Maybe this year you’d like to study something new? There’s no age limit on learning. In fact I am constantly striving to learn new things all the time and take on smaller online courses to boost my knowledge, especially in my business sector.

However you could study for fun too- there are plenty of colleges that can offer evening classes in thinks like baking, textiles or IT skills. Have a look at what’s on locally to see if you want to increase your knowledge bank.

Personal Goals

Maybe there is a personal goal you’d like to achieve. For me last year, it was to not chase anyone anymore. I did really well with it although there were a few people that I did still make more of an effort with as I knew it wasn’t personal or in their abilities to make the same effort back at times.

Maybe there’s a bad habit you have, or maybe you don’t actually make enough time for yourself to do things that boost your joy or self esteem. For me I struggled with “me time” last year, so this year I want to set aside half an hour a day to do something selfish as such. As I realise how important this actually is.

Work Goals

Are you happy with your current career or job? Nothing needs to hold you back if you are unhappy and want to change direction with work life. Or perhaps you are looking to get a promotion, or a pay rise. Make this year your year to work hard on those work goals.

If it all feels too much at the moment and is overwhelming, break these work goals into smaller chunks. Also don’t forget that money isn’t everything and neither is work. Don’t spend your days grafting away whilst dealing with depression. Often, when we make a big life change, such as a change of jobs, it can be just what we need to help boost our mental health and give us a fresh start in life.

Life Goals

Have you got a bucket list? Maybe now is the ideal time to set yourself a goal to achieve from it. Or if you haven’t got one, why not make one? Now is a perfect time to start living life to the full and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

Or maybe, you just need to sit and review your life. If anxiety and depression has gotten a hold on you, maybe now is a great time to seek help and advice and address the deeper issues. CBT therapy, or counselling is great for working through issues and taking care of yourself.

Are there bigger goals in life that you want to work towards? Such as buying a house, or starting a family? These should only be tackled when the time is right, and naturally aren’t ones that happen easily. But if there are bigger life goals that you would like to accomplish soon, then maybe you could start taking small steps towards them, such as starting a saving plan.

However, if life is difficult at the moment, remember how important it is to take one day at a time. If anxiety is all too much for you right now, here is how you can begin tackling it.

Self- Care Goals

One of my goals for this year is to practise more self-care. Too often I find myself doing lots for others, but not enough for myself. Too often, I run myself into the ground most weeks trying to achieve work goals, and take care of my family. Often, these weeks go without allowing myself the time to recharge and refresh.

This year I am putting a stop to putting myself last. I see now the importance of self-care and how I need to be spending time on myself for everyone’s sake. I can then refresh myself so that I am the best version of myself to achieve everything else I need to day by day.

So, how can you set self-care goals? Maybe there are things you’d like to invest in, like getting your nails done or getting a facial or a massage. Or it could simply be putting 10 minutes aside each day to recharge your batteries. You could take a relaxing bath, read a book or watch a TV series. Make sure that this year you set yourself some self-care goals.

You can see through this post that there are many different goals you can set yourself for the year, and many different ways in which you can achieve them. If life is hard, then set the goal to just take one day at a time. The important thing to remember is that this is your life, and you are in control. But setting goals can be healthy and you get a great sense of accomplishment afterwards. What goals will you be setting this year?

If you’re struggling with the January blues, then read our post here.

The Sports Game You Should Be Playing With Your Friends

I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post how I had learnt a lot about friendships and how to tell if they’re healthy or not. I did a lot of soul searching over the past year and I have learnt a lot about friendships. One of the lessons I was taught by someone still stands out like a sore thumb. It’s one I have to remind myself about daily. The lesson is all about playing a certain sports game with your friends, and not a physical game.

What game should you be playing with your friends?

The game that needs to be played requires give and take, back and forth. It’s a tennis game, or any game that requires hitting a ball back and forth equally. Not hogging the ball and tackling like rugby.

The point of playing this game is that everything ends up being fair and equal. For too long I was putting my all into every friendship, always making and effort, and felt like I was chasing a lot. I never knew who was being genuine, who really wanted to talk, to meet up or to have me as an active part of their life and it was exhausting.

I was being drained. I felt like I was sending most messages first, arranging most meet ups and never feeling good enough. I couldn’t keep on going like this, it was taking up so much of my free time and energy and I was never having enough time for myself.

The rules of the game.

I was encouraged by someone I trusted to start playing this game. If I hit the ball out, I had to wait for it to return. By sending ball after ball, I was just draining my energy and resources. They needed to be replenished.

I needed to focus on myself, I also needed to figure out who was worth all this. By following the rules of the game and making sure there was give and take in each friendship, it allowed me to do this.

So, if I text or called a friend, I had to wait for a reply and not repeat the messages- I could only repeat messages and send multiple ones if I knew that I was at a comfortable stage with that friend. So for example, I have a couple of best friends that I’ve known for 18 years almost. We are at a comfortable point in our friendship, so it doesn’t matter if myself, or they send multiple texts.

This needed to be the case when asking a friend to meet up. The effort needed to go both ways.

How tennis changed my outlook.

I realised that I was putting in far more for others than I was getting back. But then, in other friendships I was so thankful that I could see that it was all equal.

It taught me patience. But most of all, it really showed me who my true friends were and that actually, it may have felt like I was doing all the chasing, but this was only in a couple of the friendships. Most of them, thankfully, were give and take. It was nice to get the texts and someone ask to meet up, knowing I hadn’t chased. It felt good. It made me realise that they were decent friends and wanted to talk and catch up.

And the ones that didn’t. Well, it was sad to begin with, but there was only a couple of people that fell through the net, so to speak, and I wasn’t that close with them anyway. I was done chasing, I was done draining myself.

Now whenever I am having a conversation, a catch up, I know that it is mutually wanted. Don’t get me wrong, there are still days when I feel like I’ve chased a bit, but I remind myself of the tennis game. I remind myself that if I was the one to throw the ball back, they must return it. Sometimes it takes a while, sometimes I take a while back. But it should always be left to them if the ball is in their court. Sometimes people take a step away from the court to have a break, that’s absolutely fine, then they return full of energy. Sometimes, they get fed up with the game. And they step away.

That’s difficult. Maybe they will return one day, maybe they won’t. But if the ball was last in their court, that is entirely up to them. You have done your all. Let it be.

I encourage you to play tennis with your friends.

You will then see who is worth all of that effort, who is worthy of your time and who isn’t. Your friendships become healthier, boundaries are built and self respect is learnt. What advice would you give a friend that’s doing all the running? Give yourself the same advice- play tennis and you will see healthier friendships form rather than focusing on the one sided ones.

What will be will be. And those that are meant to be in your life, will always hit that ball back, even if it takes a while sometimes.

Here are some quotes that help with my anxiety.

Rescue Remedy is great help in high anxiety situations.

Try and do this for the next month and see how you get on. Leave a comment below as I would love to hear your experience.

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